I’ll never forget the time when as newbies we received a message from a couple on Kasidie inviting us out for dinner and drinks.  As we were reviewing their profile everything was looking great and then I heard Mrs Jones gasp…”she’s the same age as our daughter, we can’t go out with them!”

After a bit of paper bag therapy to alleviate the hyperventilation we were able to discuss the idea more objectively.  We decided to put the “number” aside and go meet them for dinner.  They turned out to be a great couple who we later ended up playing with and becoming friends.

Oh, did I mention we are in our 50s?  We are definitely outside the stated age range of many lifestyle couples.  However, when people meet us face to face age doesn’t seem to be as big of an issue.  We’ve had great play experiences with couples as young as 30 and as old as 60 and the longer we do this “thing” the less age seems to matter.

Do you think you’re too old? Too young? Do you have a targeted age range for those you’ll consider dating and possibly playing with?  If you answered yes to any of these questions have you really thought about why?  The lifestyle is a (relatively speaking) small community and eliminating large sections of potential play partners and friends decreases your odds of making a connection.

Some common stereotypes are that “older couples are not very fit” and “younger couples can’t possibly have a solid enough relationship to swing yet.”  There are so many better reasons for eliminating couples based on how you do or do not connect with them instead of accepting common generalizations from society.  We focus on three things when looking for connections in the lifestyle: the strength of a relationship, personality, and physical attraction.

We’ve learned to be open minded when it comes to age, size, shape, skin color and play style.  Focusing on the people first will open your mind to friendships and play partners you would have otherwise missed out on and will also help you to expand your boundaries and grow as a person!