The phrase “taking one for the team” is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of factors including chemistry, personality, intelligence, behavior, relationship dynamics, safety, sobriety, and sometimes that unexplainable “ick” factor.
We also discuss whether there are times when “taking one for the team” can actually be a positive experience. When you feel emotionally and physically safe, genuinely enjoy someone’s company, and trust a couple you’ve come to know, a lack of immediate physical attraction or chemistry doesn’t necessarily have to end the conversation. By keeping an open mind, couples may discover rewarding experiences and relationships they otherwise would have overlooked.
Ultimately, deciding whether to play should always be a mutual decision made without pressure, guilt, or obligation—and any “no” should be accepted graciously and without lingering consequences. We believe there is a spectrum between holding out for the elusive perfect four-way connection and feeling obligated to “take one for the team.”
Mentioned in this episode:
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Strictly Anonymous podcast with Mr Jones cancer story
Book your Desire Resorts trip here
Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios:
We Gotta Thing
Playtime
Dressed to Undress
More Than Monogamy documentary
This episode of We Gotta Thing is presented in three segments:
Segment 1 | Keeping Up with the Joneses
Segment 2 | Taking One for the Team Discussion
Segment 3 | Sexy Snapshots
If you enjoy this episode, be sure to check out all of our podcast episodes!
Want more We Gotta Thing content? Be sure to also check out our articles about swinging on Medium.
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We are Mr. & Mrs. Jones, and we gotta thing goin’ on! The We Gotta Thing podcast began in 2014 as a way for us to chronicle our journey though the swinger lifestyle and share content that is meant to be interesting, useful, entertaining, and supportive of others who are in or considering entering the lifestyle. We have released an episode every month (with one exception) ever since, offering insight on relevant topics and sometimes comical glimpses into the ups and downs associated with being a married couple that swings, along with a sexy snapshots of our experiences.
If you listen straight through from Episode 1 to the present, you’ll undoubtably notice our growth as we navigate the journey. (You’ll also notice that our podcasting equipment and skills get a lot better after the first few episodes!)
You can listen to our podcast through this website, or wherever you listen to podcasts.