First Time at a Swinger Club

by The Nubile Newbies

We were headed out of town to visit friends and family, and planned to also meet-up for dinner and drinks with new LS friends we’d met online and had been chatting with for some time. They asked if we might like to also join them at a lifestyle club where they are members. Well, sure. Of course we would. I mean, uh, we think we would. Maybe we would? OK, we would. Absolutely. We think. 

Wait. What have we done? We’re going to a lifestyle club. Well, this is exciting! And terrifying.

After the invitation, we had about six weeks to plan for (and worry about) our first lifestyle club experience with shotgun willies. We’d been to a lifestyle event once before, but never a brick-and-mortar club just for sexiness. It was intriguing. But it also brought up a lot of questions: How is it different or similar to the event we attended before? What goes on at a club? What doesn’t? What should we wear? (What shouldn’t we wear?) What kind of people would be there? What experiences would we be expected to participate in? Could we just watch? What should we bring? Would we be the only newbies there?

We’ve found that one of the best ways to stave off the jitters when trying sexy new things is to learn as much about what we’re getting into as possible rather than just showing up and hoping for the best. For us, feeling well-informed helps us to relax and enjoy ourselves. Luckily, our new LS friends eased our minds and patiently answered our questions so that we could shop for outfits, prep, and pack intelligently. They also gave us a link to the club’s website and Twitter account, so we were able to gather even more information and peace of mind that way.

As it turned out, the night we’d be attending the club was scheduled for a pretty open-ended and low-key theme that wouldn’t require extravagant costumes or daring clothing risks. It wasn’t See-Through Night, or Lingerie Night, or Latex Night, or BDSM Night (my word, that escalated quickly…but yes, “BDSM Night” is a thing and we were super glad it wasn’t scheduled on our introductory night). As it turned out, the theme for the night we attended didn’t extend to attire in any overt way, which meant we could shop for and wear whatever made us feel comfortable, sexy, and confident. We each opted for something that flattered but probably wouldn’t stand out like a beacon amid a crowd of other people in sexy outfits. No sense drawing undue attention on what might be an awkward initiation.

The night we met up with our new friends, dinner was fun but went fast. Pretty soon the four of us were on our way to the club in an Uber. The club itself was sort of like a speakeasy in that you’d never know it was there, if you didn’t know it was there. The only indication that we were in the right place was an unadorned, unmarked green door in an otherwise nondescript downtown area with no signage. Had we not been guests of members, we would maybe driven right by it and not realized what lay behind that door. 

Just as our hosts had told us, at check-in we were asked to show photo ID and were each given a wristband to wear. So far, this wasn’t much different than the LS event we’d attended previously. The club was clean and the employees were friendly…but not too friendly (if you know what I mean). They were clearly there to do a job and make sure everyone had a good time in a safe environment. This was, quite evidently, not their first time at the rodeo. They were knowledgeable, practiced, and well-versed in what it takes to offer a safe, sexy environment. All the possible needs of guests had been anticipated, as we soon learned.

After changing from our dinner clothes into our club clothes in the locker/dressing room area, the two of us were briefly parted from our member-hosts for a first-timers’ tour and Q&A session. All first time guests at the club are asked to arrive a bit early to participate in this orientation. It included a guided tour of the club’s various areas and playrooms — along with rules and expectations for how to use each, some what-to-do and what-not-to-do advice, and information about the club’s practices to make sure things stay both safe and clean, in order to be fun for everyone. Safety, cleanliness, and consent were emphasized over and over. Once the encouraging, friendly tour guide answered any questions, we were set loose to enjoy ourselves.

The orientation part may not sound too sexy to some people, but it was done with good taste and good humor, and allowed everyone a chance to learn about the premises without trepidation. A pretty solid practice, if you ask us. And it didn’t diminish the erotic tone of the evening. To be honest, it afforded all the newcomers (and there were quite a few in addition to the two of us) time to check each other out as much as we checked out the club. And it made us feel a lot more at ease. Lots of different types of people were in attendance — various ages, races, and body types. It was not all super-young, super-hot, could-be-a-model sorts, as we had feared it might be.

The club was made up of a bar area (BYOB with bartender service, as we’ve found other LS events to be), a dance floor with a stage area and a pole for those so-inspired, a couple of meet-and-mingle areas with couches and tables, and several playrooms for various tastes, play styles, and number of participants. Some were quite small, sweet and simple. Some were much larger and ornate. Some were very private, others very very open. Some were themed, with decor and lighting. A couple were geared toward BDSM practices. There were ways to indicate if  you preferred private play or if watchers would be welcome. The club also had a system for couples to indicate if they were open to have others join or wished to stay to themselves. Condoms, dental dams, and lube were distributed all around the club, along with mints, towels, wipes, and bottled water. On one large TV in a central seating area, porn looped endlessly. Lighting was low enough to be sexy but not so low as to be unsafe or intimidating.

For our part, we started the evening (post tour) bellied up to the bar for a little nip of Liquid Courage. The bartender was friendly and maybe even a little flirty, as she located our hosts’ stash and poured our drinks into cups for us. After that, the four of us sort of chatted while enjoying our cocktails, and somehow migrated our way toward the back of the club where we got to watch a woman get hooked to a giant St. Andrew’s Cross (yeah…I had to look it up, had no idea what to call it) and get flogged — first by what appeared to be an expert flogger and then by a not-so-expert novice. It was super interesting to watch, but not really all that sexy to us. Neither was the porn on the TV. We know they were trying to set the vibe, but sitting and watching porn while in a sexually charged club seemed somehow a lot less arousing than watching it at home together.

Eventually we did the thing that always seems to lead to good, healthy, erotic fun — we danced! Think of the hottest regular club or bar you’ve been to, and then amp up the “anything goes” factor on the dance floor. If you can do that, you’ve pretty much got the idea. Music, lighting, skimpy outfits, gyrating bodies, and permission to kiss and touch both your partner and someone other than your partner — all that makes for a pretty solid warm-up to any other play you might want to do. Clothing was, apparently, optional on this dance floor. Naked or half-naked dancers moved among the clothed. Along the sides of the dance floor, we could see couples displaying various degrees of “making out” (do we still call it that?), some closer to fucking than kissing. This particular club did allow single men and there was one brief incident between the Mrs. and an unwelcome single-guy; however, he took her hint pretty swiftly and exited the dance floor when it became apparent that she wasn’t having it.

Our first night ended without us playing. We watched. We danced. We enjoyed sexy conversation and some super hot dance floor shenanigans with our new friends, but we didn’t avail ourselves of the playrooms on this visit. And you know what? No one minded. There wasn’t the slightest bit of pressure or expectation that we do anything other than have a sexy good time at whatever level we preferred.

Now, we’d be lying if we said we didn’t take all that arousal back to our own hotel room. That, friends, may be the best reason to give a lifestyle club a try. Between the fun of shopping for and wearing sexy outfits we couldn’t have worn elsewhere, the erotic dance scene, and the fire ignited in our own relationship, we have to say we’d recommend giving it a go.

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