16 Aug Just Be Cool Guys…(Use Your Secret Weapon) by Mr Jones
We tend to get overzealous a bit. Sometimes. Let’s face it guys, the smallest hint of the possibility of having sex messes us all up (technical term). We get a suggestive text, we see a sexy picture, we smell a new perfume, we see some cleavage or the top of a thong, she smiles at us and all of the sudden it’s too late. The goofy grin is back. The over-the-top gibberish is beyond our lips and we can’t get it back. We can’t stop talking or texting long enough to let anyone else respond. We send a slightly inappropriate picture back or make an awkward comment. It’s too late. We’ve morphed into being “that guy.”
We really do want to play it cool but those damned hormones…
Dating was stressful enough when we were single and here we are now, sooo many years later and we find ourselves right back in that same situation, just as nervous as we were then (and very rusty with what skills we did have). Only this time, we have a secret weapon: our wives (or partners)!
For years Mrs Jones has been trying to train me to be a gentleman. Where to spray my cologne. When to have a breath mint. When to wear my shirt untucked (this one confounds me still). When to wear long sleeves rolled up. Which belt matches my shoes. When and wear some grooming needs to occur (Mrs J: don’t you look in the mirror?). Which fork to use and which water glass is mine. She tells me to fix my collar, stand up straight and even (this is the worst) refuses to talk to me until I wipe the food off my face.
A lifestyle couple who are very close friends visited us recently and the topic of “guys being guys” and ruining potential play opportunities came up in conversation (I think it started because I dropped food on my shirt). After a few minutes of he and I defending our gender his wife blurted out, “honey, just LISTEN TO ME and I will get you laid!”
That’s when I heard the angels sing. All this time I thought Mrs Jones was simply nagging me but instead she was trying to get me laid! Ladies in the lifestyle are so cool!
Do you know what this means guys? We don’t have to do this by ourselves. We can take our cues from our partners. Before we send that picture we can ask her permission. Before we respond to that text we can consider what she might think. Before we monopolize the conversation we can wait for her to respond with her comments. Before our heart rate gets too high in the presence of another woman we can take her hand first as a reminder of who is most important.
Guys, if we keep our focus on the one that matters, the one we are desiring will be that much closer. If we allow the one we desire to see how much we love and respect our wife or partner we’re that much closer to sharing a new sexual experience. If we remind ourselves we are not in this alone but with the person that means the most to us in this world, well, we’re about to get ourselves laid…