Our Kids Think We Are Acting Weird

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by Swinger Parents

Recently, my husband and I were called out by our 13-year-old daughter about being too affectionate with each other lately. In her words, we’ve been “acting weird.”  

She may have a point. There have been some changes in the way we behave with each other since starting this lifestyle adventure! For fun, we started naming things — from our kids’ perspective — that probably qualify as “acting weird.” 

Here’s our list of 20 observations from the viewpoint of an 11- and 13-year old with parents in the lifestyle:

  1. Mom and Dad seem to have a lot of new friends that we haven’t ever met.
  2. Mom and Dad go out more often, stay out later than normal, and sometimes don’t come home until Sunday morning.
  3. Mom and Dad text more now, and seem to get text alerts at the same time on their phones. Then they giggle a lot.
  4. Mom and Dad kiss way more often and Dad pats Mom’s butt all the time, even in public. Ewww!
  5. Mom started wearing short shorts that look like MY shorts!
  6. Dad asks us, “Doesn’t Mom look cute?” waaaay too often!
  7. Mom and Dad get more Amazon packages and just tell us it’s “Personal Stuff.”
  8. Mom and Dad close their laptops really fast when we walk into the room.
  9. Mom and Dad don’t let us look at the photos on their phone anymore.
  10. Mom and Dad seem to take more naps in the middle of the day and always lock their door now.
  11. Mom has crazy, skimpy, lacy panties that keep showing up in the laundry.
  12. Mom wears clothes that show her boobies way more than she used to!
  13. Mom and Dad wear ear buds in the minivan and know what podcasts are now. 
  14. Mom and Dad strike up conversations with complete strangers now when we go out to dinner.
  15. Dad winks and flirts with waitresses now and Mom doesn’t even get mad.
  16. Mom and Dad have this mysterious bag they take with them EVERYWHERE!
  17. Mom and Dad want to take vacations and cruises without us. Not fair.
  18. When we ask them what they did the night before, they don’t always tell the same story.
  19. Dad comes home from overnight trips super happy, but Mom comes home super tired.
  20. Mom and Dad now kiss and hug ALL our friends’ parents goodbye.

If you found this list to be funny, well then you might be a swinger…