by Ess

Hey folks! First of all, I can’t wait to meet those of you who will be joining us at the Nashville We Gotta Thing Meet & Greet later this month! I’m looking forward to hosting a conversation about intimate portraiture and how it can enhance the connection between you and your partner, as well as those with whom you choose to share your romantic lives. During our workshop in Nashville, we’ll be delving into the art of intimate portraiture for couples, how to curate a better online profile through imagery, and how to work with whatever camera you currently own to take better pictures.

In the meantime, and for those of you not able to join us in Nashville, I wanted to offer three practical tips that you can start trying today with your phone camera:

ONE |  When we are posing for intimate photography, we’re not just trying to make our bodies look good, we’re trying to invite our partners (or potential partners) into the photo. In other words, we’re trying to seduce the viewer. My best advice when it comes to posing is this: If it bends, bend it.

woman's backside (in lingerie)
If it bends, bend it!

What does this look like, practically? For the ladies, if you’re standing, sling your hip to one side or the other. This will create that classic, sexy S-curve. Gentleman, turn your body sideways (hip to the camera lens) and then twist back toward the camera so that the broadest part of your chest faces the lens. Doing this will make your waist look slimmer and your chest broader. Who doesn’t want that? If you’re looking for a great shot of your ass, turn 45 degrees from the camera lens, cross your legs slightly and either bend a bit at the waist or pop the knee that’s closest to the camera. Laying down on your stomach? Pull your knees towards your chest to elevate your butt. Sitting? Bring one knee up, drape your arm over that knee and let the opposite shoulder fall away.

Most importantly, use these guidelines to experiment and have fun. What I hope you’re starting to realize is that great posing can be as much a science as it is an art. It takes practice, but once you have the basics down you can apply them to all your photos (it can also be fun to look through a bunch of sexy photos online and see which poses most appeal to you…then try them out).

TWO | Don’t take photos. Kind of. This is going to sound strange coming from a photographer — but most people would be better served taking videos instead of photos. Hear me out: Put on some sexy clothes, shoes, and/or lingerie and maybe play some music to set the mood. Then, set your phone to video mode and put it on a simple tripod or nightstand (or have your significant other or a good friend hold the camera for you) and start posing. It’s going to feel absolutely ridiculous. Embrace it. It’s okay to laugh at yourself! In fact, I encourage it. Whether I’m taking portraits of a couple on their wedding day or in an intimate setting, laughter is always a key to more natural, organic photos. Once you’ve had a good laugh, channel that nervous, awkward energy into your posing.

Challenge yourself to move between ten to fifteen different poses that make you feel sexy and empowered. Run through those poses as a “take” and then review and adjust and try it again. I can’t stress this enough: You will most likely hate the first few videos you see of yourself. It’s okay. You are not alone. Learn from it and then let it go! You will end up scrapping the first few videos, but the more you do it, the better you’ll get. Soon, you’ll have a posing flow down and a video of yourself looking sexy as hell. But that’s not the best part. Once you have a few videos stockpiled, you’ll have a limitless supply of ready-to-send photo content. Pull your video up on your phone, pause it when you’re looking your best, and take a screenshot. Once you have it down, each video you create could provide you with 20-30 unique photos (or more). 

To pull this off you need to remember a couple of things: Forego the candlelight, string of lights, or the sexy red light bulb for this. Always work in a well-lit area, preferably natural light from a window, or doorwall, or the great outdoors. The more light, the better when it comes to image quality on modern phones. Additionally, make sure you are not using the selfie cam as it tends to be low-quality compared to the forward-facing camera.

THREE | Connect. Connect. Connect. 

woman adjusting lingerie with her hands
Don’t underestimate the seduction of well-placed hands.

Connect with yourself. With the camera. With the setting. But most importantly, connect with your significant other. That perceived connection is what separates the smut from the art. Anyone can post a photo of tits or a dick pic and get a bunch of likes. While many of us enjoy a dirty picture here and there, I believe we owe it to ourselves to experience a deeper connection. Taking photos for or with your significant other should give you confidence and enhance your sex life, not cheapen it. This idea manifests itself in photos in some subtle and not so subtle ways. If your intimate photos are only for you and your partner, then the most significant way you can connect with each other through imagery is with that deep smoldering gaze, that fleeting mischievous glance or that coy flirtatious smile.

Many of us, however, won’t be sharing photos of our faces with our potential extracurricular partners, at least not right away. So how do we connect without our faces? We do it with our hands. A carefully placed hand on your chest, fingers resting gently on the collar bone. Fingertips hovering close to our intimate areas. A finger placed gently on a lip. Looking to make it a little more risqué? Grab the sheets firmly with both your hands and arch your back. These gestures can make all the difference in elevating your images from simple snaps to portraits that connect with the viewer — as well as help you stand out in a sea of online profiles. 

At the Nashville meet & greet, I’ll be sharing even more tips and techniques for making the most of your intimate photography using your own camera equipment or phone camera. I’ll also be taking appointments for a limited number of professional boudoir sessions (couple or individual). Whether you are able to join us or not, I’d like to invite you to connect with me on Instagram at or through my website at Until then, have fun experimenting and capturing sexy moments.