As we begin to celebrate our third holiday season in the Lifestyle we’re seeing things with a new perspective.  Here are just a few things we’ve noticed:

  1. The third helping of turkey is like the third orgasm at a swinger party- both times you swore you were done after seconds.
  2. Lube is to lots of sex as gravy is to lots of turkey.  Both help you keep going when things dry out a bit.
  3. When someone says “Black Friday” you don’t think about shopping.  You think about the theme at the club this weekend.
  4. That company holiday party where everyone gets drunk, dances, flirts and does things that would normally get them fired and that people talk about all year long?  Yeah, it reminds you of your high school prom.
  5. You watch people stand under the mistletoe and then kiss some unsuspecting target.  It irritates you because of the lack of consent.
  6. Everything you order your spouse/partner for Christmas comes in unmarked packages.
  7. As you hug/kiss your holiday party guests goodbye you silently repeat to yourself: lips-closed-hands-above-the-waist….lips-closed-hands-above-the-waist..(except for that special one you’re hoping to flip).
  8. You love it when Christmas falls on a Wednesday.  Your out of town guests come in after the first weekend and leave before the next.
  9. In your “old” life you’d fall asleep during the gift exchange at the vanilla holiday party around 9pm. In your “new” life you’re just leaving for the swinger holiday party at 9pm.
  10. On New Year’s Eve the age old tradition of sharing a kiss with your partner is replaced by a new tradition: sharing orgasms with new friends.

Did we miss anything? Feel free to add to the list by sharing a comment below!