We’ve all heard the term ‘opposites attract’ when talking about relationships. Does the same hold true when finding connections in the lifestyle? Do we search for people just like our partners or do we find ourselves attracted to those who are the opposite?
Listen in as we discuss our preferences and what we’re still learning about ourselves and each other as we continue to navigate this lifestyle.
Mr. Jones 0:01
This podcast contains explicit language and content and is for mature audiences only.
Mrs. Jones 0:06
Hey, you teenagers out there, if you’re under 18 this show is more for your parents. So now that you have that mental picture stuck in your head, put some music on and get back to doing your homework.
Mr. Jones 0:17
We are a longtime married couple who’s decided to chronicle our personal adventures and share our sex positive discussions as we navigate our way through the swinging lifestyle.
Mrs. Jones 0:27
Care to join us? [Music]
Mr. Jones 0:46
Hello, everyone, I’m Mr. Jones.
Mrs. Jones 0:48
And I’m Mrs. Jones. We want to welcome you to Episode 73 of the We Gotta Thing podcast.
Mr. Jones 0:53 Opposites Attract.
Mrs. Jones 0:54
That’s you and me baby.
Mr. Jones 0:56
Yeah. That’s for certain
Mrs. Jones 1:00
Yeah, I mean, I think that um, obviously we’ll, we’ll dive into the whole why and how opposites attract.
Mr. Jones 1:09
The yin and the yang.
Mrs. Jones 1:10
Yeah, the yin and the yang. But if if we ever knew whether we attracted each other it would be about right now, at this point in our lives.
Mr. Jones 1:18
Yeah. Let’s, let’s just dive right into that. This is for the record. What is today, March 21, that we’re recording this?
Mrs. Jones 1:27 Yes.
Mr. Jones 1:28
And everyone is getting used to the new normal in the world, not just in the United States, but the whole world.
Mrs. Jones 1:37
Right. Hello, COVID-19.
Mr. Jones 1:39
Yeah, we recently put a blog post out on this, you’ll find it on our website. Also, we’ve tweeted out about it, you know, basically, we’re, the reality of it for us is that it’s real, and we have to prioritize it and we have to try do whatever we can to mitigate this.
Mrs. Jones 2:03
Right. So now instead of being social swingers we’re social distancers.
Mr. Jones 2:07
Yeah, we’re locked down in this house. We thought about downsizing a couple years ago. I’m glad we didn’t.
Mrs. Jones 2:13
Yeah, not yet. Thank goodness.
Mr. Jones 2:15
Yeah. But anyway, we urge you to be careful and be smart. This is …
Mrs. Jones 2:21
It’s not a joke, and, you know, I know some people are saying, well, it’s no worse than a bad cold or getting the flu, but I think some people are very susceptible to, to having permanent damage done.
Mr. Jones 2:33
Well, this is not about us. There’s a lot of other people out there that we can impact if we ignore this and our philosophy is, we’re not on either extreme side – We’re not on the side that’s out trying to hoard toilet paper.
Mrs. Jones 2:47
I already had a lot of toilet paper in the house, like way before, so I have not purchased any paper products actually.
Mr. Jones 2:53
Yeah. nor are we on the other side where we think we can just go on life as usual. And we’re gonna – we’re gonna – this is fine, and it’s being overblown. You know, we’re we’re right down the middle and taking it seriously. And, you know, what we’ve noticed over the past few weeks is that it’s it’s lifestyle events and club owners and event planners are taking it seriously, finally, and you’re seeing things canceled and, and which is really the prudent thing to do at this point in time.
Mrs. Jones 3:23
Absolutely. I mean, you know, I’m, I’m pretty healthy and I think I have a good immune system. But at this point in time, I just really don’t know. I mean, why risk it? It’s not necessary.
Mr. Jones 3:35
Well, I mean, my parents are in their early 80s. And, you know, I don’t want them you know, getting affected by this. So we all have to keep that in mind. And while we’re talking about this, you know, speaking of Podcast-A-Palooza, we’ve been promoting this for almost a year now and it’s almost sold out. And Kate is feverishly working to make sure that the event is ready to go, but if it needs to be postponed, she’s working on a couple of alternate dates later in the summer and the fall. So you’re just gonna have to stay tuned for that, but she’s really being diligent.
Mrs. Jones 4:14
I mean, she wants to be responsible. But at the same time, it’s going to be an amazing event. And we were just, we, we got to FaceTime with Cate and Darrell this morning. And, you know, they’re they’re already working on new dates, it’s going to be postponed, it’s not going to be canceled. So we all have something to look forward to once this lockdown ends.
Mr. Jones 4:36
If it doesn’t happen in May, it’s gonna be postponed, and not canceled.
Mrs. Jones 4:40 Right.
Mr. Jones 4:41
Right. Well, one thing’s for certain, when all this is over, there’s gonna be a lot of pent up energy. We’re going to come back with a vengeance and get this economy going again by traveling and going and eating out and, you know, trying to get back into the swing of things, so to speak. So we just wish that you all will take this seriously and, and be careful out there.
Mrs. Jones 5:06
Well, I’m glad that we live in the state of Virginia. Well, I guess I’m I’m glad now that we live in the state of Virginia, like, you know, Virginia has some, some interesting laws, like we can’t have lifestyle clubs here, but during this whole lockdown, closing stores, etc., our liquor stores are still open.
Mr. Jones 5:26 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 5:29
They understand what’s essential and what’s non-essential.
Mr. Jones 5:32
We have three, we have a liquor cabinet upstairs. We have a reserve liquor cabinet upstairs and we have an extra reserve reserve liquor cabinet downstairs.
Mrs. Jones 5:41
We do, honey, but it’s not just about us. It’s about our neighbors and friends and yeah, everybody else that’s trapped in their houses. Many of them with small children. So we only have a small dog.
Mr. Jones 5:53
Okay, enough seriousness,
Mrs. Jones 5:55
I know. So have we had any fun?
Mr. Jones 5:57
Well, I have to tell a story on Mrs. Jones, and I’m probably gonna get in trouble for this.
Mrs. Jones 6:02 No.
Mr. Jones 6:02
Yeah. How long have I known you?
Mrs. Jones 6:06
Um, 36 years.
Mr. Jones 6:07
Yeah. And how many years we’ve been traveling?
Mrs. Jones 6:10 Um, a lot.
Mr. Jones 6:13
Yeah. And how many times have we traveled by air?
Mrs. Jones 6:16 Tons.
Mr. Jones 6:17
Okay, we were sitting in a plane…
Mrs. Jones 6:19
I have no idea what’s coming
Mr. Jones 6:21
…in Cancun. We’re going to talk about our trip to Desire. We were sitting in a plane in Cancun. We landed in Cancun and you know, the pilot is, is taxiing up to the gate. And, you know, they, you know, the the jet bridge is there and he’s pulling forward and the people on the ground – the ground crew tells him when to stop. So, he stops the plane. And I’m looking out the window and the jet bridge is not moving in towards the plane.
Mrs. Jones 6:50
And he let everybody stand up. I mean, like he – that little tone came off and everybody took off their seat belts and we’re starting to open the overheads and everything.
Mr. Jones 6:57
And so he comes back on and he says, Sorry, folks, but I’ve overshot my mark a little bit. They’re gonna have to push us back. So if everyone can have a seat, and then we’ll have you off in a second. And you looked at me, and you said, What does he mean push us back? And I looked at you curiously – like what do you mean? What do you mean push us back? And you said, I said there’s a tug that comes up and attaches to the to the front wheel and pushes the plane and you said, it doesn’t have a reverse? [Laughing]
Mrs. Jones 7:31
You’re making me sound like an idiot. [Laughing]
Mr. Jones 7:32
No. Okay, well, what did you say?
Mrs. Jones 7:35
Doesn’t it have a reverse? [Laughs] Mr. Jones 7:39
And I said, as many years as we’ve been traveling, you haven’t looked out the window, you haven’t you haven’t been in the airport, noticing that planes being pushed away from the gate?
Mrs. Jones 7:48
I never have a window seat, do I?
Mr. Jones 7:50 No.
Mrs. Jones 7:51
You always sit by the window. If you can’t…
Mr. Jones 7:53
You don’t have to. You can be in the airport, looking out, and just observing.
Mrs. Jones 7:58
I guess I’ve never done that before.
Mr. Jones 8:00
No, cuz you always have your head in your candy crush game.
Mrs. Jones 8:03
Well, then when we got off the plane, we were walking, you know, as we were walking to immigration, it’s the terminal that we were in in Cancun is all glass. It’s really pretty, like the walkways are, and there were tons of airplanes out there and…
Mr. Jones 8:16
I made you stop.
Mrs. Jones 8:16
I know, you showed it to me.
Mr. Jones 8:17
I said, come over here to the windows. You see those little things?
Mrs. Jones 8:20
I said, Yeah, I’ve seen those before. I never knew what they did.
Mr. Jones 8:24
I said, Oh my gosh. Mrs. Jones 8:27
Yeah, I’m a redhead. But actually, I’m a strawberry blonde. So the blonde is coming out. Sorry, you blondes out there. I know lots of blondes have high IQs. Clearly I have a couple deficiencies.
Mr. Jones 8:37
You’re a very intelligent woman.
Mrs. Jones 8:40
Just not an observant woman.
Mr. Jones 8:42
…how to reverse… I said, do you know how jet engines work? The air comes through only in one direction.
Mrs. Jones 8:50
I thought there was another sort of mechanism that could actually engage and move the plane…
Mr. Jones 8:55
Like, you thought it was like a bow thruster on a cruise ship.
Mrs. Jones 8:58 Something like that, yes.
Mr. Jones 9:00 Okay.
Mrs. Jones 9:01
I learned something new that day.
Mr. Jones 9:03
Well, that certainly lightened the mood a little bit. But anyway, we were in Cancun because…
Mrs. Jones 9:09
Oh, we went to a surprise birthday party.
Mr. Jones 9:12
We did. Yeah. We didn’t really give out the dates that we were going to Desire in March. And it’s a good thing we went in early March. Since the border’s closing now.
Mrs. Jones 9:20 Yes, thank goodness.
Mr. Jones 9:21
But almost a year ago, we were invited by some close friends to come to Pearl.
Mrs. Jones 9:27
Well, the wife. Yeah, so the wife contacted us. It was a year ago. And you know, her husband was turning 50 this year, and she wanted to plan a surprise birthday party for him. So she invited 10 couples.
Mr. Jones 9:41
More than 10, but 10 were able to come.
Mrs. Jones 9:43
Well, she was hoping for maybe like two or three or four couples. She was she was just very pleasantly surprised about how many people you know, responded that they could come so there ended up being 10 couples, and he ended up – he knew that they were going to Desire this particular weekend, but he thought it was just going to be a romantic getaway for the two of them with a with a romantic dinner on the pier with the moonlight shining down, you know, over the water and everything. And it wasn’t anything like that.
Mr. Jones 10:14
No, no. So 10 of us surprised him, and at the same time we got our first taste of the Desire mansion.
Mrs. Jones 10:21
Yes – so the husband and our friends that – he was having the birthday, they were in the mansion, and we were almost next door to them, on the same floor. And they got there about a half an hour before us and and the Desire staff told us what room they were in. So we went and knocked on the door. And he opened the door and he was so confused. It was awesome.
Mr. Jones 10:45
And he was continuously confused as people showed up throughout the day and throughout the weekend.
Mrs. Jones 10:50
Yeah, so at first we just kind of like played it off. Oh, yeah. You know, your wife contacted us and and we said that we will come and we just thought this would be an awesome surprise and he so he thought it was gonna be the four of us. And then just little by little, it was just every day, something happened that had been planned that he didn’t know about. So…
Mr. Jones 11:09
So let’s talk about the mansions for a moment, besides the party, because they just opened in December. And this is the first time we stayed there. And, you know, there’s been a kind of a mixed feeling about it, because it’s exclusive. It is tucked away behind the resort.
Mrs. Jones 11:26
And we hesitated a while before we decided that we wanted to be part of that.
Mr. Jones 11:33
Right. So turns out, it’s really not that big of a deal. As far as being separated from the rest of the resort, because you have full access to the resort. It’s almost like going back to your room no matter where you are.
Mrs. Jones 11:45
Right. Yeah, for us. But we could bring people with us. I mean, it wasn’t like, we’d have to like, kiss goodnight at the door, and then we go in the mansion and they would be locked out. It wasn’t like that at all.
Mr. Jones 11:58
Yeah, we brought some folks back over to take a tour and anyway, it’s a beautiful facility.
Mrs. Jones 12:05 Oh my gosh, yeah.
Mr. Jones 12:05
It’s high tech, which if you’ve been to Desire, I mean it even has an elevator, which doesn’t exist anywhere else in the resort.
Mrs. Jones 12:07 Which we used once.
Mr. Jones 12:14
But there’s the first building is the reception building and you go in there and you check in and in that building is also a lobby bar.
Mrs. Jones 12:23
And a balcony that looks down over the pool area. Really pretty.
Mr. Jones 12:27
Everything is so decadent. It’s all marble and granite. Glass, you know, from from floor to ceiling. Just really, really elegant and decadent. Then you come out of that building down into a courtyard and in the courtyard, the courtyard is really three buildings pushed together. It’s that building that you come in for the registration. And then there’s a building where the restaurant is. And then there’s the mansion building with the eight rooms in it. So in the center of that is a courtyard.
Mrs. Jones 12:58
With a pool and a pool bar.
Mr. Jones 13:01
A heated pool. It’s almost like a Jacuzzi.
Mrs. Jones 13:03
Yep. And then there’s like beach beds, well, I guess pool beds. And there’s a restroom there. So you don’t have to run up to your room to go to the bathroom.
Mr. Jones 13:11
Yeah. And a bar, a pool bar. And then the restaurant there only has eight tables. And you can go in anytime breakfast, lunch or dinner and just order whatever you want. And they have a full staff there that cooks for you.
Mrs. Jones 13:24
Our breakfast was amazing.
Mr. Jones 13:26
They have an amazing menu. The menu is different there from the rest of the resort, and they’ll pretty much do anything made to order if you tell them a little bit ahead of time.
Mrs. Jones 13:33
Yeah, I mean, the night we ate there, I had chicken for dinner. For some reason I just wasn’t in the mood for beef or fish. I think cuz I had eaten fish like the previous two nights. So I ordered chicken. That was the best chicken I’d ever had. I thought yeah, it’ll be okay. I just want something kind of, you know, low key. It was amazing. And the – yeah, everything there was great. The drinks were great. Oh, and it was fun for me, because inside the mansion building they had a bar in like the lobby area on the ground floor of the of the building with all the rooms in it. And it was a self service bar.
Mr. Jones 14:09
Yes. So we’re gonna get to that building. So there’s the pool and the courtyard is actually a swim-up pool. So you can get in there and go to the bar. But also there’s two rooms right there. And you can – they’re swim up rooms and you can get up and get out and get into your room there. But anyway, the building where the rooms are – you go across a little bridge and walk into that. And as you were saying, in that main lobby area, there’s another bar. That’s self serve. And it’s got – its fully stocked with mixers and ice and everything.
Mrs. Jones 14:38
Nice, like nice top shelf booze. It was really nice. All the mixers.
Mr. Jones 14:44
And then there’s – and there’s only eight rooms in the building and on the top floor there’s a playroom, and the playroom is amazing. I think it’s sectioned out into about four different beds.
Mrs. Jones 14:55
It’s got a liberator bed up there.
Mr. Jones 14:56
There’s a St. Andrew’s cross on the wall, and the most amazing part about it is there’s a walk-in shower that probably holds about a dozen people. And a bathroom right there in the playroom.
Mrs. Jones 15:07
And the tile in that shower is metallic. It looks like metal but it’s glass.
Mr. Jones 15:12
Yeah and there’s blacklights.
Mrs. Jones 15:13
And then the whole rain forest – the whole ceiling is like a rain forest showerhead, and there’s a bathroom right there which is the best part.
Mr. Jones 15:22
Yeah. So that’s on the top floor and then the middle floor where we were is rooms and our room was amazing. Storage everywhere, and again if you’ve been to Desire usually lack storage, but you have your – we have our own balcony and every balcony has its own hot tub, or a pool – jacuzzi spa on it, and the bathrooms are amazing. The rooms themselves are amazing and everything is electronic. The best thing about the whole resort is that on your Desire bracelet is where your key – your room key is.
Mrs. Jones 15:54
Yeah there’s – they put a chip on the back of the plastic part of the bracelet with the logo.
Mr. Jones 15:58
You don’t have to carry that card around with you and keep it dry. Which you never do.
Mrs. Jones 16:03
The only drawback is that you can’t get your bracelet put on your ankle. Because you actually have to touch your bracelet to the little you know screen thing on the door handle, so that would be awkward.
Mr. Jones 16:16
And technology in the room. Everything is automated. So there’s a there’s a panel that controls the heat and the air and the lighting. And also there’s – it also controls room service, housekeeping, Do Not Disturb. All of that is electronic. And then there was a great sound system in there that Bluetoothed with our phone. And then we had our own diffuser in there and you have a pillow menu and, you know, you choose..
Mrs. Jones 16:45
And an aromatherapy menu that goes in the diffuser. It was incredible.
Mr. Jones 16:50
So the facility itself and the services itself are – they exceeded our expectations. As far as being segregated, you know, we did have a private party at the mansion one afternoon, where I think about 30 of us came back over there for an afternoon and did – Desire put on a little party for us. But…
Mrs. Jones 17:09
Oh, that was when I wore my Happy Birthday pasties.
Mr. Jones 17:12
Yeah, that’s right. That’s right.
Mrs. Jones 17:15 I’m a good friend.
Mr. Jones 17:16
Yeah. There were supposed to be a cookout that day, but it was overcast, and they were calling for rain. So they just brought us over some pizza and tacos. Which was good. But anyway, we spent most of our time around the main pool, out in the main resort. And, you know, socializing out there. It was only a couple of times that we came back – one time when they were playing basketball. Because our chairs at the main pool, were at the basketball net, and we decided to go back to the mansion pool and lay around for an hour or two.
Mrs. Jones 17:46
Yeah, it was really quiet and they were playing like really chill music in the background. It was quiet and they came and brought us drinks and you and I were the only two people there.
Mr. Jones 17:55
Yeah. But for the most part, we stayed out in the main area, and – so I don’t really know that – if you want to be exclusive you can be. And it’s not like you’re taking that much away from the main resort, because the main resort still has 88 rooms of people out there.
Mrs. Jones 18:10
Right. And the important thing is that you can bring a couple back with you to the playroom. And there used to be this like, when they first started like talking about the mansions, you would get like two, what they called, like, quote unquote, golden tickets a week, but they’re being much more lax about that. I mean, obviously, they they want to make sure that there’s availability for the people that are staying there. But we never had a problem bringing guests back with us. So you don’t even have to ask, you just you know, because there’s only eight rooms they they know
the eight couples that are staying there. So as long as they see one of the eight couples, then everything’s fine.
Mr. Jones 18:51
Right. So if you think you might be interested in staying at the mansions, we do offer discounts. I think – I don’t know that you can find this anywhere else. But we are able to offer discounts to the mansions. So you’ll find this on our website if you’re interested. If you’re not, you know, I understand it might not be people’s thing. But we really – we enjoyed it more. We enjoyed it so much that I think we’re going to take an extra trip this year. And at first we didn’t think we would stay there. Now we’re not, you know, I don’t know, we’ll probably go back a couple times. And I think we’re pretty much hooked on it. But a great a great trip. And I’m so glad that…
Mrs. Jones 19:31
The only thing bad about the trip is that we were only there four nights. You know, because we were we were trying to sneak it in. It was a real busy time at work for both of us.
Mr. Jones 19:38
That was the shortest trip to Desire we’ve ever
Mrs. Jones 19:40
Yeah, it was painful. Because by the time we got in the groove, it was time to leave.
Mr. Jones 19:44
Yeah. And it was new to us because it was the mansions and we hadn’t stayed in that environment before.
Mrs. Jones 19:49
Yeah. So you had we had to learn a new routine anyway. And then we only had four nights to do it. So we need to do over.
Mr. Jones 19:57
Right. So it was nice meeting some – running into some old friends that we didn’t know were going to be there.
Mrs. Jones 20:03
Oh, I know. There were a couple couples there we didn’t know that we’re going to be there. It was great.
Mr. Jones 20:07
…meet a lot of new new folks down there. It was, it was just a great trip. And yeah, so while while we’re talking about this, our November trip is pretty much sold out. I think the penthouses – there may be a penthouse or two left.
Mrs. Jones 20:21
And the master suites are spotty. Like there’s a couple nights here and there. I don’t know there
– I think there might be a master with plunge left too but they won’t last long.
Mr. Jones 20:30
No. So it’s pretty much sold out. So before we move forward, we wanted to announce a couple of new partnerships, you know, we we’ve we’re we’re pretty you know, we don’t really recommend a lot of things on our website. We’ve always recommended the dumb card game, of course. And we’ve always recommended Double Date Nation, and Kasidie for for dating sites.
But we’ve got three new partnerships that we want to tell you about. First of all Everlywell. Everlywell.com and you can find this on our website.
Mrs. Jones 21:03
We’ve talked about them for a few years.
Mr. Jones 21:05
Yeah, it’s STI testing that’s done in your home. And I’ve used it a couple of times and it’s super convenient. And it’s super discreet and you don’t have to go anywhere.
Mrs. Jones 21:15 And it’s super quick.
Mr. Jones 21:16
Yeah, you do everything in your home. You know, you you there’s a you know, a card that you have to take a blood sample and you know, you just put everything in an envelope and send it off to a lab. We did have a physician look at this website and tell us that he thought it was it was pretty credible. So anyway, no matter where you are, you can use this. So you’ll find a discount to Everlywell on our website. The next thing is when we go to Desire, speaking of Desire, we always use USA Transfers to get to and from the resort.
Mrs. Jones 21:31
Right. And even if you – sometimes when you book your transportation you know through Desire, they use USA Transfers. So it’s the same service.
Mr. Jones 22:04
We always get private transportation and USA Transfers – we’ve been using them now since we’ve been going to Desire. So we thought it was finally time to have an affiliate relationship with them so you can book your USA Transfers through our website as well. And then finally, our friends Mickey and Mallory over at Casual Swinger, they opened up an online toy store just before Christmas. And we’ve always hesitated to partner with or recommend sex toy stores because you can always find things cheaper on Amazon and we’re, we’re all about frugality, and, you know, practicality.
Mrs. Jones 22:47
I’m a cheapskate. You can say it.
Mr. Jones 22:48
And we had plenty of opportunities to partner with people in the past, but we never wanted to recommend a toy that you could get on Amazon for for something a lot less than that. So why don’t you, Mrs. Jones, explain to me how we got involved in Casual Toy.
Mrs. Jones 23:00
Well, it was our naughty stockings’ fault. So in the lady’s chat on our community we were all talking about, you know, what do you what do you put in your husband’s naughty stocking? And you know, we were kind of all struggling with that. And somebody suggested this particular item. And then Cate from Swinging Downunder chimed in and she said, oh well, I just purchased that on the Casual Toys website which is Casual Swinger’s shopping site. And she sent everybody a link to it and I went and and it was a toy I had been looking for you for – I’ve been looking for this toy for you for a couple years and I can never find it. And sure enough, they had it. And I went on Amazon to look and it was literally $10 cheaper. And it wasn’t a super….
Mr. Jones 23:48
Ten dollars cheaper where?
Mrs. Jones 23:49
On the Casual Toys website. And so I went ahead and ordered it. And I’ll be durned if that toy wasn’t in our house in two days. It was like Amazon Prime for sex toys. I mean, it was awesome.
Mr. Jones 24:02
Yeah. So it was a great experience. It was, it was less expensive than Amazon, and it was a high quality product. And so once we did that, we actually reached out to Mickey and Mallory…
Mrs. Jones 24:15
Who we hung out with at Naughty in Nawlins last year, so yeah.
Mr. Jones 24:17
And we told them how impressed we were with the service and the toy and the cost. And we asked them if we could form some sort of partnership. So you know, it’s not like they came to us, you know, asking to do this. This is something that we tried ourselves, we paid money for the toy. And it was a great experience. So you’re gonna find casual toys at a discount. You’re gonna find USA Transfers and Everlywell all on our website. So we’re excited to announce that.
Mrs. Jones 24:47
Yeah, and now’s a perfect time to shop because there’s nothing else to do.
Mr. Jones 24:51
Boy. You know, work from home. Learn from home. You know, purchase, you know products from home.
Mrs. Jones 25:00
Cook your own food because you can’t go out to dinner.
Mr. Jones 25:03
It’s a good thing we have the Google.
Mrs. Jones 25:05 No kidding.
Mr. Jones 25:06
Or this would be a whole lot worse than it is.
Mrs. Jones 25:08
You know, I was thinking even if this would have happened just like 10 years ago, I mean, people, I mean, yeah, we were shopping online 10 years ago, but, but the whole working from home thing, I think has really been an eye opener for a lot of people. I mean, you and I have kind of been doing that anyway. So we we are fortunate to be in that position where it’s not too disruptive for us.
Mr. Jones 25:32
And you know, here’s something extra that in our private community in our members community we’ve been doing, we use the platform Zoom for for virtual meetings. And we’ve been – we’re going to weekly, during this whole coronavirus period, we’re hosting online conversations every week with our community, and it’s so nice. People can – it’s like getting out of your house and connecting with swinger friends.
Mrs. Jones 25:58
Because we go ahead and do video. We don’t record them. So, you know, people feel safe going ahead and having the webcam on.
Mr. Jones 26:06
So everybody comes in. And if we get if we get 40 or 50 couples, Zoom allows us to break everybody into smaller groups. And we have a topic of discussion and everybody socializes and it really has been a good outlet for people who just want to connect with their lifestyle friends.
Mrs. Jones 26:20
I know, I know, it’s been fun. I do have to like, tell a funny story about one of our members, though, he was saying that his company don’t normally work – the people – employees don’t normally work from home, but of course they’re having to now, and they wanted to do a video
conference and they chose to use Zoom. And nobody really knew how to use it. And our member was like, well, you just, you know, if you want to do this, then click here and blah, blah, blah. So he was kind of coaching everybody. And somebody in the meeting said, hey, how do you know how to use this? So he said he had to backpedal a little bit to not say exactly how he knew how to use it, from being in our discussion groups.
Mr. Jones 27:03
I was in a work meeting using Zoom on yesterday. And I learned a new feature. And I was like, Oh, this is so exciting. I’m going to be able to use this when we have our own meetings.
Mrs. Jones 27:13
I know. So yeah, Monday night, we’ll be able to teach all of our members that new little trick.
Mr. Jones 27:18
Yeah. And we’re trying to do these things, like we did one on East Coast time. We’re gonna do one on Pacific. We’re gonna stay up late.
Mrs. Jones 27:23
You and I are… drinking some coffee.
Mr. Jones 27:25
Yeah. So if you’re in our community, or if you want to be a part of these, it would be a great thing to join our community and connect with a bunch of people while you’re, you know, while you’re quarantined.
Mrs. Jones 27:37
Right. I think it just helps with the isolation a little bit.
Mr. Jones 27:40
It does. Okay, well, gosh, that was a lot to keep up with. When we come back. Mrs. Jones is going to get full credit for this episode topic. So when we come back, she’s going to explain to you what opposites attract mean. And hopefully, I can follow along with her conversation and her thought process.
Mrs. Jones 28:02
I have full confidence in you honey.
Mr. Jones 28:04
Okay. We’ll be right back. [Music]
Mrs. Jones 28:16
Welcome back to segment two. Where we’re gonna discuss how opposites attract.
Mr. Jones 28:21 We do.
Mrs. Jones 28:22
I know, we do attract each other don’t we.
Mr. Jones 28:24
I don’t think we knew we were opposite when we were 20 and 21 years old.
Mrs. Jones 28:28
We didn’t know anything when we were 20 and 21 and met.
Mr. Jones 28:31
I was just infatuated with you.
Mrs. Jones 28:33
Well, clearly we had chemistry.
Mr. Jones 28:35 Yes, we did.
Mrs. Jones 28:35
We knew that part. That’s about all we knew. Yeah. So we’ve we’ve learned a lot in the last three decades together.
Mr. Jones 28:44
We’re still learning, I think, as we’re gonna learn through this conversation.
Mrs. Jones 28:47
I think we’ve learned a lot in the past couple weeks.
Mr. Jones 28:52 Yeah, I think so too.
Mrs. Jones 28:54
Ouch. Here we go. So the whole opposites attract thing. I mean, people use that term loosely, I think, a lot of times and…
Mr. Jones 29:03
Wasn’t that like a Paula Abdul song?
Mrs. Jones 29:06 Was it?
Mr. Jones 29:06 Opposites attract?
Mrs. Jones 29:08
I don’t know. I can’t think right now. Yeah. Okay. But like, how does that apply to the lifestyle? I mean, you can just flippantly say, opposites attract, but, you know, how does that apply to the lifestyle? How does it apply to like your relationship with your partner? What does it mean? As far as what you’re looking for in the lifestyle, there’s just there’s a lot of different ways to kind of, I guess, analyze this.
Mr. Jones 29:38
Well, and I think opposites, you know, we talk about being opposites like physically and and personality wise, and we talk about being opposite from what do we have in common, and what are our…
Mrs. Jones 29:54 Value system.
Mr. Jones 29:55
…ideals and politics and religion.
Mrs. Jones 29:58
Oh, we’re not even gonna go there.
Mr. Jones 29:59
But that’s what we think about when we think of opposite. It’s like, it’s different things that we like or we enjoy or, but it’s really not the essence of how we’re similar or different.
Mrs. Jones 30:11
Right. And the way this kind of whole, the whole idea came up is we kind of – we have a virtual book club going on in our ladies group in our community. And we were talking about the, the tantric concept of yin and yang. And we were looking at it through the lens of yin and yang being different types of energies that you – that you bring to a relationship.
Mr. Jones 30:39
Okay, what the hell is yin and yang?
Mrs. Jones 30:43
Well, Mr. Wikipedia, you looked it up, so…
Mr. Jones 30:46
I looked it up for you.
Mrs. Jones 30:47
I know. So what did you find?
Mr. Jones 30:48
Well, I mean, it’s a Chinese philosophy and it’s a it’s a concept of dualism, and it describes, like seemingly opposite or contrary forces that may actually be complimentary. Or, you know, we think of – when we think of opposites we think of like magnets like repelling. But in this case, it’s more complimentary or you need the other half and … I’m not gonna say half because sometimes it’s not half. You need the other side. If you’re the yin, you need the yang to make yourself complete.
Mrs. Jones 31:22
Right. In any kind of like relationship that you have, and this, this isn’t just about marriage or about sex. This can be any aspect of your life, your professional life, your social life, anything where the different people bring different energies to the table.
Mr. Jones 31:44
Yes. And I think in certain ways, we always talk about – even in your marriage vows or we say partnership and we say 50/50 and we use the word equality. But I sometimes I don’t think that that’s completely accurate because I think what yin and yang is about is sometimes you have to be more one than the other, sometimes you have to be more than 50%. You have to be 60 or 70%. And the other person is the 30%.
Mrs. Jones 32:13
Right. So I guess we probably need to maybe attempt to describe what yin and yang are, and I don’t – like, I’m embarrassed to almost do this, because I have never studied Tantra before.
Mr. Jones 32:27
I think it’s about balance and harmony and energy. But I like the way that you described it to me in my feeble way of thinking.
Mrs. Jones 32:34
Well, the way we were talking about it in our conversation within our ladies group is that, like, yin is where you you kind of you bring this energy to the table where you’re, you’re receptive and you’re open, and you draw the other person in. And then yang is the one that has like the, I almost want to say like external energy, like you know, you can just feel it radiating off of that person and they bring, like, as far as sex goes, they bring, like the energy to the table. They, they’re bringing the, their, their pursuer, you know, they’re going after it. And, and that can also apply in your professional life, you know, how assertive are you in a meeting with your colleagues, you know. Do you – you’d kind of sit back and take it in or do you…
Mr. Jones 33:25
So the yang is the person who is more dominant? Was that is that a good word?
Mrs. Jones 33:33
Kind of sort of yes. Maybe.
Mr. Jones 33:34 Assertive?
Mrs. Jones 33:35 Yeah
Mr. Jones 33:35
Okay. And the and the yen is the person who’s more submissive or in that particular role, whatever that role is, they’re more submissive.
Mrs. Jones 33:46
Maybe, but I think that both of those roles and both of those energies are equally important. Because if you have two people that are yang, and they’re they’re like full steam ahead, bring in the energy, you know, there’s gonna be some head butting going on. And that might not end up with the best experience, no matter what setting we’re talking about.
Mr. Jones 34:12
No, this is not about good and bad or right or wrong or better or worse. This is about complimentary types. And, you know, I’ve always – you’ve always teased me because you’re the math person, and I’m not, but I did do fairly well in geometry. So, because the whole algebra thing and mixing numbers and letters, and I never really understood that. But geometry I understood, so you explained it to me a little bit using complementary angles. So why don’t you try that?
Mrs. Jones 34:43
Well, right. I mean, you have two angles that are complimentary. So they, you know, together whatever those angles are, if they add up to 90 degrees, they’re complimentary. It doesn’t mean that one angle has to be 45 degrees and the other angle has to be 45 degrees so that they add up to 90 and it’s even Steven 50/50 whatever. One, you know, you can have a 30 degree angle and a 60 degree angle or you know, I could like play with numbers all night. And the bottom line is however those angles measure as long as they fit together, then they’re going to create that full 90 degree angle. And that’s called a right angle. So it like makes it right. Everything is right with the world because they’re fitting together correctly.
Mr. Jones 35:32
Okay, so whatever the yin and yang is, as long as it’s complimentary, and as long as it adds up to 90 degrees, then we’re good.
Mrs. Jones 35:42
You get a sticker baby.
Mr. Jones 35:44
I get my name on the board.
Mrs. Jones 35:46
Yeah, buddy. Superstar board.
Mr. Jones 35:49
But in real life relationships, like, like you and I….. again, we talked about this at the open, but I’m
not sure – when we were 20 and 21, and we first fell for each other and there’s this infatuation and you’re, you’re so beautiful. And, you know,
Mrs. Jones 36:08 He’s a great kisser.
Mr. Jones 36:09
Yeah, and you’ve got this fog around your head and this – it’s lust and it’s infatuation and it’s love
Mrs. Jones 36:16
Those little lovebirds are literally tweeting.
Mr. Jones 36:18
The cartoon birds circling your head, I’m not sure that we really take the time to understand this part of a relationship. So like, you know, you’re a very detail-oriented person.
Mrs. Jones 36:32 No, really?
Mr. Jones 36:34
And I’m not. I’m more of a big-picture thinker.
Mrs. Jones 36:39
Okay, hold on. I gotta turn my head for just a second. Yeah, his pile is like four inches thick. He has this wire basket on his desk, and everything is contained in the wire basket. But it’s four inches thick of paper.
Mr. Jones 36:53
All that stuff I’m done with. You know, once I’m done with it, I just set it aside.
Mrs. Jones 36:57
Your health insurance policy’s in there somewhere and I desperately need it back.
Mr. Jones 37:01 No.
Mrs. Jones 37:01
So that it can go in my folder that says health insurance policy filed in my very meticulously organized drawer.
Mr. Jones 37:09
It’s over there somewhere. You just need to go through and find it. I didn’t throw it away.
Mrs. Jones 37:14
Where’s the paper bag? I need to bring it….. paper bag.
Mr. Jones 37:17
Another thing that – another way we’re different is that you’re very practical. You’re a coupon clipper.
Mrs. Jones 37:23 Amen.
Mr. Jones 37:24
And you have the budget.
Mrs. Jones 37:25 I’m proud of it.
Mr. Jones 37:26
Right and I- and you’re the receipt collector. And I just go with the flow. I …
Mrs. Jones 37:32
If you want to deduct that expense, you need to give me the receipt, buddy.
Mr. Jones 37:34
Honey, I just pull out a credit card.
Mrs. Jones 37:36
I know you do. And it’s oftentimes not the right credit card.
Mr. Jones 37:39
I know, we fought about that in the airport on the way to Cancun. Mrs. Jones 37:41
We did. Like, I didn’t want to sit next to you on the airplane. I was so mad at you. But then you taught me what the little like tugboat thing was for the airplane.
Mr. Jones 37:52
Oh, Lord. Okay, so here’s another way we’re different. You know, you’re more linear in your thinking and I’m the creative thinker.
Mrs. Jones 38:01
Yes, we would not have this podcast if it were up to me.
Mr. Jones 38:05
And it would be gibberish if it were up to me. It would be nonsensical. It would, it would have no order. It would just be a bunch of stream of consciousness.
Mrs. Jones 38:14
You’re the topic guy. And I find that fascinating.
Mr. Jones 38:19
Right. Another difference, and I could go on and on. I’m surprised we’re together. You have a photographic memory. And I remember stories and visual illustrations.
Mrs. Jones 38:31
If you tell me something, and I don’t write it down, it ain’t gonna happen. Because I’ve got to write it down so that I can see it because if I can see it written down, then I can remember what that piece of paper looks like with my handwriting on it.
Mr. Jones 38:44
And I remember people, but I don’t remember their names. And I remember events, but I don’t remember the details of events.
Mrs. Jones 38:52
But you’re getting better because I told you that if you can’t remember the names of the ladies that you’ve had sex with, then we’re not going to be able to do this anymore.
Mr. Jones 38:59
I know, that does motivate me. But I think, anecdotally speaking, of course, we’re a small sample size and, and we have a lot of friends and we have – we know a lot of people in the lifestyle. But anecdotally speaking, I think that we find that many couples, many, many couples are quite opposite of each other.
Mrs. Jones 39:20
Yeah. Yes, I mean it, once you start thinking about it, and you start reflecting on the personalities of the couples, I really think that that’s the way of the world for the most part. And people that are alike are kind of the exception to the rule.
Mr. Jones 39:36
Right. So put a pin in that for a second because I want to talk about – in lifestyle relationships.
Mrs. Jones 39:42 Okay.
Mr. Jones 39:43
So in lifestyle relationships, we find that we each normally connect this way with one of the two partners. Like, you know, you’ll you’ll connect with either the man or the woman on – the way that I described how you and I are different. And I normally connect with the other partner, male or female if they’re more like like me.
Mrs. Jones 40:06
Right. And it doesn’t – I mean, and it has nothing to do with gender. I think it’s just that that similarity in the way they’re wired.
Mr. Jones 40:15
It has nothing to do with gender because we were just that – when we were at Desire, we sat down on our last day… Well, we we have – we had good friends there that we’ve known for a long time and and we had dinner with them and breakfast with them one day, and before we left, we sat on their lounge chairs and we started talking with them.
Mrs. Jones 40:33
It was hilarious. Because, well they’re coming to Podcast-a-Palooza, and we were talking about, like the theme nights because Cate has definitely challenged her attendees with having to get creative with theme nights, which is killing me. Because again, I am not the creative thinker in the family. But I’m the shopper.
Mr. Jones 40:58 Yes.
Mrs. Jones 40:58
So I’m screwed. Because you’re the creative thinker, you don’t give a flip about shopping and actually you hate theme nights. So I am just floundering. I don’t know what to do. So we’re sitting on the lounge chairs, talking with our friends waiting for the time where we had to, actually they let us use their shower. So we get to like put all of our stuff in their rooms.
Mr. Jones 41:22
If I can describe the setting, okay, it’s the last day, you know, we’re leaving Desire at like two or three in the afternoon. And we’re sitting on their lounge chairs and she’s naked.
Mrs. Jones 41:33
Well, we were all naked. I mean, you and I were in denial to the last minute.
Mr. Jones 41:37
You and he were just engrossed in this conversation about details and planning and, and he’s the shopper and you know, where would you find this, and where would you find that. On my side of the chair, I was picking sand from her underboob.
Mrs. Jones 41:52
Okay, wait. So, he’s sitting on his lounge chair with his legs straddling either side, and I’m literally tucked between his legs. We were – we were very cozy…and naked
Mr. Jones 42:03
I know, but you were having this like very detailed…
Mrs. Jones 42:06
You’re acting like he and I had like business suits on and we’re talking like – we were naked and like our body parts were like, were very cozy.
Mr. Jones 42:13
That’s another topic, but she and I were like, whatever, you know, we’re just going to show up. You guys need to figure this out.
Mrs. Jones 42:20
He’s like, I’ll send you an Amazon link when you get home and I’m like, Oh my god, I love you! No, he and I, and we’ve known them for a couple years, but every time we get to hang out with them, I think we get to know them a little bit better and, and like, he is wired just like I am. And I think I finally reached that conclusion on this trip. And that’s probably like the fifth time we’ve gotten to hang out with them.
Mr. Jones 42:46
And in this case, in this case, you’re connecting with him. It could be a her but in this case, it’s you and he.
Mrs. Jones 42:52 Yeah.
Mr. Jones 42:53
And it’s she and I, because I’m – we’re over there touching each other and kissing and I’m picking the sand…
Mrs. Jones 42:59
You two are just pretty faces that show up. Her husband and I are doing all the work.
Mr. Jones 43:03
Okay, so question about that – in the lifestyle, is it easier to be attracted to someone that’s like you, or someone that’s different from you?
Mrs. Jones 43:12
I kind of think it’s easier for some – for me to connect with somebody like me.
Mr. Jones 43:18
Yeah. And maybe it’s because you and I are so unlike each other, that when you meet somebody like him,
Mrs. Jones 43:25 It’s so refreshing.
Mr. Jones 43:28 You don’t have to try.
Mrs. Jones 43:29 I know.
Mr. Jones 43:30
It took us like 10 years to get to be compatible, but but with somebody that’s like you it can happen in an instant.
Mrs. Jones 43:36
It’s so easy. I mean, he and I just think alike and… Yeah. And he’s really sexy, and he was naked, and he shared his lawn chair with me and let me use a shower. Like, damn.
Mr. Jones 43:48 I know
Mrs. Jones 43:49 Amongst other things.
Mr. Jones 43:51
So let’s talk about sexual personality. So are you the same in and out of the bedroom? So I guess what I mean by that or what we mean by that is if you are detail oriented, if you’re more of the yang, if you’re more of the aggressor, or more assertive or more dominant, and are you like that – is that your sexual personality or not?
Mrs. Jones 44:19
Okay, this is where after 36 years of knowing you we learned something new about each other this week.
Mr. Jones 44:27 Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 44:29
Because I am obnoxiously controlling in our family life…
Mr. Jones 44:37
Yes. Obnoxiously being the key word.
Mrs. Jones 44:39
I admitted it. You didn’t even have to pull that out of me. I’m very confident. I’m not obnoxious in my professional life, but I’m very confident in my professional life. And I’m not afraid to stand up for myself because I’m very – I do a good job of being very sure of my position. So once I’m sure in my position I, that makes me very confident to stand up for myself and to encourage people to listen to me.
Mr. Jones 45:11
Let me describe you.
Mrs. Jones 45:12
Oh, I’d rather just talk about myself.
Mr. Jones 45:15
You’re very independent thinking. You’re intelligent. You’ve had to – in your life, you had to depend on yourself. And you quickly go into fight or flight, and you do whatever is necessary to get yourself – you survive and you thrive. And it’s because you’re tenacious, and you’re detail oriented, and you’re driven and all of those things that we talked about before. That’s how you are.
Mrs. Jones 45:51
Well, I’m a, I’m a I’m a lifelong learner. So I’m constantly looking for ways to not only improve myself, but to help people around me, you know, have a more efficient and effective life. You know, so I, I think I’m just very passionate about what I do. And and I find joy in it. I want to share that joy with others and, and I’m and I professionally I’m very confident.
Mr. Jones 46:22
Right but but now we’re talking about your sexual personality.
Mrs. Jones 46:26
Okay, well now I need to switch gears. And I think this has been an epiphany for you and I, because I am very yin in the bedroom. I’m receptive, and I’m engaged. But I struggle to be the initiator and I don’t know why, because it’s not that I don’t want to.
Mr. Jones 46:50
I think sometimes you struggle. I think other times you don’t, because …let’s talk about me for a minute. I am definitely the yin in the the bedroom, you know, I’m a people pleaser, I want to make you happy. You know, I will sacrifice whatever my desires are to make somebody else happy. I’m the Labrador, you know, I’m, you know, I just want to please you. And so for me to be dominant is is possible, but it’s not my nature. In reflecting on our sex life over the past 30 something years, and I’m specifically recalling when our like kind of our sexual revolution started 15 years ago, years ago, and you bought a book, and you were motivated to read this book about blowjobs and about being a woman sexually. And we were – we had a cruise planned, and you started reading this book about blowjobs.
Mrs. Jones 47:57
I said, I’m a lifelong learner.
Mr. Jones 47:58
I know. But all of a sudden we had sex, I want to think, I don’t know, 30 or 45 days in a row.
Mrs. Jones 48:06
No, it was like 60 something.
Mr. Jones 48:07
Yeah. And because you were, you were learning and you were confident, and it was intriguing to you. And, and that’s one example. It’s happened many times, but when our sex life is the best in the past, is when you’ve been super motivated to be the yang. And I’m the yin. But when but when you’re yourself, and you’re the yin, I don’t – back to your complimentary angles, because I think you made a good point, whether it’s 45 and 45, or 60 and 30. If you’re at 60, you know, and I’m at 20. There’s a 10 degree gap. We’re not completely whole. Right?
Mrs. Jones 48:52
I’m loving your math right now. But yeah.
Mr. Jones 48:54
Did I do the math right?
Mrs. Jones 48:55 You did. Oh, baby.
Mr. Jones 48:56
So if I’m the one that has to stretch myself to get that extra 10 degrees, that’s when our sex life struggles. So in a way it’s my shortcoming or it’s my inability to understand that I need to be that way that is partially causing the gap that we find ourselves having every once in a while, because as you mentioned, in real life, I see you – all those things that we talked about professionally and personally. So I my expectation is you’re going to be like that way in the bedroom. And you’re not.
Mrs. Jones 49:32
And I can be. But what you and I have noticed as we go through struggles in our lives in other areas, be it family or social or professional., you know, you I, I’m an extreme introvert actually, I think I’m – the extremity of that is becoming more apparent as I age. And I am literally a turtle that pulls into my shell. And when that happens, that yang is not going to come out in the bedroom. So I think we’ve been dealing with garbage lately. And, and I think that my yang has kind of been, you know, put to rest for a while. And I’m and I’m struggling.
Mr. Jones 50:19
Yeah. And I don’t, we don’t need to get into details. But when you say garbage, you know, there’s always family stuff. You know, there’s always personal stuff.
Mrs. Jones 50:27 Everybody has this.
Mr. Jones 50:28
Like, we’re getting older, you know, our bodies are changing. You know, we have family stuff that comes up. We have business stuff that comes up, just like everybody else. And so that seems to take – that’s a bigger distraction for you than it is for me a lot.
Mrs. Jones 50:47
Right. I tend to carry that stuff on my shoulder. More than I need to probably.
Mr. Jones 50:52
And so what happens is I recognize that you’re like that, and I know I need to be that extra 10 degrees, and when I make an attempt at that, and you don’t respond, then I, I retreat even more than 10 degrees, then it becomes 20 or 30 degrees because I’m like, okay, I tried. And it didn’t work. You know, she’s not really into this, and then I lose my confidence. And then I retreat because my nature as the yin, you know, is to be submissive.
Mrs. Jones 51:22
Well, right. But I think the fact that you and I have had this conversation now is going to really help a lot. Because now I think we have an awareness of not only what attracts us to other people in the lifestyle, but what helps us connect as a couple. You know, it isn’t …it’s not fair for me to get frustrated with you because you won’t intuitively know what I need and solve all my problems, because that’s not the way you’re wired. And then it’s the same with me. So I think
instead of being like grumpy and bitter about that, we need to acknowledge it and learn to compensate for it.
Mr. Jones 52:11
And let’s throw an extra layer of lifestyle stuff in on this. You and I are admitting that, you know, we have this gap and that we’re talking about it now. We’ve always …then we talked about our lifestyle friends. And we have many couples that are close with us where you’re connected with him and I’m connected with her. And, and then all of a sudden, because I meet somebody, and she’s just like me, and we connect. That doesn’t help the situation that you and I have, because we’re each looking over and seeing I’m seeing you connect with another guy and you’re seeing me connect with another woman. But we have this gap in our own personal lives. So that adds another dimension to it, like, well, why do they get along so well? Or why am I getting along so well with her, or how is it easy for you to connect? But how come you’re having so much fun with her or you’re having so much fun with him, but in our own sex lives where we have that struggle, so that dimension, because we’re in the lifestyle, because that happens. That’s just another hurdle. That’s another thing that makes it more difficult because if we don’t really understand that, then it becomes, oh, well, you’re not getting what you want from me. So you’re getting it from them. Or, I mean, I’m just making that up. But but you know what I mean?
Mrs. Jones 53:32
No, that’s it. That has definitely gone through my mind at times. And it’s probably gone through your mind too. Can I just, can I just say it very bluntly?
Mr. Jones 53:44 Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 53:45
A lot of the guys that I’m really connected to in the lifestyle, I would kill if I had to live with them. More than like 24 hours. I mean,
Mr. Jones 53:54
Okay, that’s a good point. That’s a good point.
Mrs. Jones 53:57
Okay. Kill was probably harsh. I’d probably just drop kick ’em out of the house, and they wouldn’t want to be here anyway.
Mr. Jones 54:02
Right? Right. That’s a good point. So what would happen? Okay, let’s talk about this in two different ways. I’ll start with me. And I’ll start with the girl, the lady, I was sitting on the chair with. If both of us are like, eh, whatever. Well, if we’re together…
Mrs. Jones 54:17
How is shit gonna get done?
Mr. Jones 54:18
Yeah, that’s right, how are we gonna survive? Who’s gonna pay the bills? But in your scenario when it’s too type A’s, or two dominants, then you guys are gonna kill each other.
Mrs. Jones 54:30
Yeah. Yeah, really. I mean, there’s gonna have to be a lot of like, serious compromising going on.
Mr. Jones 54:36
So is this just more evidence? Or is this still anecdotal, that your life partner is going to be more likely to be opposite of you? Because you fill each other’s gaps?
Mrs. Jones 54:49
Right. So Mr. Jones and I went to a marriage conference, probably, I don’t know that’s probably a good 20 years ago now when we went to our first one, and there was a couple speaking during the conference, and they were talking about how men and women are wired differently, and how our brains are – our brains literally work differently. And, and they were saying that in – at the end, that’s a good thing. Because, you know, if you’re on your own, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. And then your partner alone has, you know, his strengths and weaknesses, but you put the two of you together, and all of these gaps that you have in your own individual personality can be filled in by your partner. So it’s kind of good for opposites to come together because what I’m good at Mr. Jones is not. Just like the four inches of paper behind me, like, just like teasing me and calling my name, and vice versa. I don’t have a creative bone in my body, and Mr. Jones can just immediately think of all different kinds of ways to solve a problem where I just like spiral down a rabbit hole, you know, so you put the two of us together and we’re a pretty formidable team.
Mr. Jones 56:08
Yeah, I’m the what and you’re the how. You know, when I come up with an idea, it frustrates me because …you almost immediately go, but how are we going to do that? I don’t want to talk about the how I just want to talk about the what.
Mrs. Jones 56:20
Or, if I’m grumpy, I’m like, That’s stupid. That won’t work. You know, because I can’t, I can’t immediately play it all out.
Mr. Jones 56:27
Yeah. And another thing that like when we’re in the car driving together, and we’ve talked about you being the nagavator.
Mrs. Jones 56:34
Thank God there’s no video on a podcast, or you would show everybody the video.
Mr. Jones 56:38
Well, what I’m saying is that you you’ll wake up and you’ll say, you missed your turn, or don’t you know, this is our exit. But if it was, if it’s somebody that’s just like me, we’re going to be holding hands and we’re just going to be talking away and before I know that we’re going to be three states down the road before I realized that we missed a turn.
Mrs. Jones 56:55
No shit. People, Mr. Jones was born like 30 miles from where we live now. Like we’ve lived in our town for 30 something years, and he can get lost going to the grocery store sometimes. I’ll be like, honey, and he’ll be like, what? And I’m like, you were supposed to turn there. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Mr. Jones 57:15
Well this is getting a little person.
Mrs. Jones 57:16 Okay, sorry.
Mr. Jones 57:20
So I think we’ve said that it is easier to be attracted to someone who’s like you than is different from you. But now I want to talk about, okay, we’ve established that you’re attracted to people like you. And we’ve established the fact that in the bedroom, we can be different than that. So then my question is in the lifestyle when you meet another couple, and you’re just like him, and I’m just like her, and we have the whole yin and the yang, and we’re all 90 degrees and all that stuff. When we get into the bedroom, that doesn’t necessarily mean that those angles are still adding up to 90 degrees.
Mrs. Jones 58:00
Right. So like your sexual personality isn’t necessarily the same as your professional or family or social personality.
Mr. Jones 58:09
Right. Because there have been ladies that I just connect with so seamlessly outside of the bedroom. And then in the bedroom, we have fun, but the chemistry and the sexual satisfaction maybe isn’t there. And then there’s been times when I haven’t really been that connected outside the bedroom, but then inside of the bedroom that we definitely are. So what’s the, what’s the lesson here?
Mrs. Jones 58:36
Well, I think there’s no way to predict it. But I think the bottom line is you just have to understand that you can’t have this expectation that somebody is going to be a certain way in the bedroom.
You know, just because they are tons of fun to have cocktails with or to hang out with at a resort or on a cruise or you know, wherever you’re meeting these people, once you actually get into bed with them, you you don’t really know what’s coming. Because we all have these this yin and this yang and it isn’t always the same in every single setting.
Mr. Jones 59:15
So I think what we’re saying is when you go into the bedroom and the clothes come off and the doors close, they’re still there still needs to be some exploration. There still needs to be some conversation. There still needs to be some learning that’s going on there – is like, are they the same way outside the bedroom as they are inside the bedroom? And you know, …we’ve met a couple of couples in the lifestyle. One time it was the man and the other time it was the woman and they were very successful, high-powered business owners. Very successful.
Mrs. Jones 59:15
I know you’re talking about. Yeah.
Mr. Jones 59:54
But then in the bedroom, they were both ultra submissive.
Mrs. Jones 59:57 Yes.
Mr. Jones 59:58
And one of them explained it like, I am type A and I’m going 100 miles an hour all day. So when I come home and I get in the bedroom, I just want to be the opposite. I don’t want to have to think about that. And so we’ve learned that when we get into the bedroom with people, we have to keep in mind that it’s just because we’re connected outside the bedroom doesn’t give you an automatic pass that you’re going to be really compatible.
Mrs. Jones 1:00:23
That you can assume that person is going to take the lead in the bedroom or that that person is going to let you take the lead in the bedroom.
Mr. Jones 1:00:29 Exactly.
Mrs. Jones 1:00:30
You know, you might have this very, you know, quiet, demure lady that – you get her in the bedroom and she’s gonna become a – just a firecracker.
Mr. Jones 1:00:39
Right. Interesting. So I have a question for you.
Mrs. Jones 1:00:42 Okay.
Mr. Jones 1:00:43
I’ve actually – this is a question for everybody. This is like a homework assignment. If you’ve been in the lifestyle for any period of time, and you’ve met people, whether you’ve played with them or not, are you more attracted – in lifestyle situations -are you more attracted to people that are like your partner or that are opposite of your partner
Mrs. Jones 1:01:04 Opposite.
Mr. Jones 1:01:05
Oh, golly, that was fast.
Mrs. Jones 1:01:08
Oh, should I thought about that first? No, I think No, I think I find it fascinating to find people like me. And it’s probably because you and I are really opposite. So to find somebody that’s wired like me, I just find it refreshing and fascinating.
Mr. Jones 1:01:27
I don’t know if you remember but…
Mrs. Jones 1:01:29
Again, 24 hours together – it might get ugly.
Mr. Jones 1:01:33
Yeah, that’s why my office is downstairs. But But before we even got in the lifestyle, like 15 years ago when we had a group of friends that we no longer have and we would get together and the men would go in one room and the women go in the other room you always wanted to go with the men.
Mrs. Jones 1:01:51
I know. Well, I’m left brained. I mean I’m a mathematician so I want to go talk about guy stuff.
Mr. Jones 1:01:57
Right. And I liked sitting around the table with the ladies. So I think we knew that early on, we just didn’t really understand it as much. And really, I think it would be easily to be offended by that because I’m thinking, Oh my gosh, he’s nothing like me. And she’s attracted to him. That could put me off.
Mrs. Jones 1:02:17
Oh, I mean, isn’t that the beauty of the lifestyle?
Mr. Jones 1:02:20 I think it is.
Mrs. Jones 1:02:21
You know, variety is the spice of life and, and you get variety, you get to meet the most interesting people, and have these connections with people that is, you know, sometimes very different than what you’re used to. But it’s all good fun because it’s, it’s temporary. It’s not. I mean, at least for you and I we’re not looking to form these intimate, exclusive relationships with people. We just want to have fun. And be friends. I mean, we do like to be friends with people, but it’s you know, Good luck with that. That is your spouse. That is not my spouse.
Mr. Jones 1:03:03
Well, I think it’s also important from – this is what just struck me is that I don’t I don’t want them to be like you. And I don’t want you to be like them. The reason that we’ve been married for 35…?
Mrs. Jones 1:03:19 Yes, dear.
Mr. Jones 1:03:19
…years is because of who you are and how we are. And if you were to make the mistake of observing my relationship with another woman in the lifestyle and thinking you need to be like her in order for me to get your attention, that’s totally wrong. You know…
Mrs. Jones 1:03:37 I’m learning that.
Mr. Jones 1:03:38
I want you to be you. And you taught me a long time ago in the lifestyle that different doesn’t mean better. It’s different. So I think you could easily fall into the trap and I could do the same thing, like, Oh, what is he doing or what is it about him that my wife is so attracted and should I modify my behavior or should I try to be that way. And I think if that gets into my head, and I try to do that it takes me out of the person that you are attracted to and in love with.
Mrs. Jones 1:04:11
Right. And I’m not gonna lie. I mean, this past year has been kind of a hard year for me. I mean, this is there’s nothing sexy about what is about to come out of my mouth, but I mean, I’m, I’ve gone through menopause this year. And, and it’s not – it’s a very humbling experience, I guess. Just watching my body change the way it functions and, and just realizing I’ve I’ve kind of transitioned to another phase of my life. And it’s really hard for me to compare myself, which is absolutely not what I’m supposed to be doing.
Mr. Jones 1:04:50 Comparison is the thief of joy.
Mrs. Jones 1:04:52
No shit. It’s hard not to. We have lots of lifestyle friends that are in our same wheelhouse as far as age goes, but we also have friends that are younger than us. And, man, it is a struggle.
Mr. Jones 1:05:09
I think I think what you’re saying, just to be clear, is that we’re in our mid to late 50s. And then when we…
Mrs. Jones 1:05:16 I’m mid, you’re late.
Mr. Jones 1:05:19
Okay. I’ll give you that. Even though it’s only a year difference.
Mrs. Jones 1:05:23 Shush. Eighteen months.
Mr. Jones 1:05:25
We have friends that are within five to 10 years of our age.
Mrs. Jones 1:05:30 Yeah, either way.
Mr. Jones 1:05:31
And we have friends that are 15 to 20 years. And I think what you’re saying is that the younger, the younger ones, they’re the ones that you’re saying sometimes you’re intimidated by or you compare yourself to – not intimidated, but…
Mrs. Jones 1:05:50
Actually, no, because that’s obvious. Somebody’s 15 years younger than me, that’s obvious. I mean, I don’t – there’s no point in competing with that, there’s no competition there. And competition is just like the worst thing you can do in the lifestyle. This is my female brain, like spiraling out of control on me because of, just, life. And I don’t know, it’s just really hard to not look at somebody that is, however much younger than me and look and say, Oh my gosh, you know, she’s just like him. Like, he gets her because he’s like her, and I, I am the nag. That’s my role in our family. I demand the receipts. I demand you that you use the correct credit card. I demand that you dig that health insurance policy out of that four inches of paper and bring it back to me tomorrow morning. You know, I’m the – I’m always the bad guy. But at the end of the day, our family functions very well. And I’m not just talking about you and me. I’m talking about
our family as a whole functions very well. And, and when I can step away from my hormones and my my personal pity party, I understand I’m an important part of that success.
Mr. Jones 1:07:19
Well, you are my, what you just described, you used the term nag. But I think there’s a richness that comes along with that to our relationship. You know, we are business partners. We are
co-homeowners and homemakers and managers. We’re parents together. We’re family members together. We’re going through life together as partners. Compared to someone in the lifestyle who I’m very connected with and that and that is just like me and thinks like me, that person – I see a small slice of them. I see the best of them. I see the sexy part of them. I see fun part of them. I am not all those other things that I just described with you with them. And so in my mind that relationship or that connection, can never be, it can never be anything like you and I have. And so when you say, you feel badly, because you’re the nag, I look at that, and I, and I reflect and I think about, you know, how we hold ourselves – each other accountable and how we fill each other’s gaps, like you said before. And I appreciate the fact even though that I don’t say it in the moment, that, you know, you get me safely from point A to point B, and that’s the reality of it, but in this case, I am a lot more down to earth feet on the ground. I can process that and practically understand that but I think what you’re saying is based on what you’ve been through in the past year, you lose – that reality becomes, like, more abstract and…
Mrs. Jones 1:08:59
Yes, it does, like I’m having a hard time keeping my feet on the ground. And it’s, you know, it’s scary. Logically, my brain is like perfectly okay with all this, but sometimes women’s brains just don’t grab ahold of the logic when it’s – when they should. You know, and so when I when I see you attracted to somebody that’s different than me, it – my – the insecure part of my brain starts like doing that whole lid flipping thing and, like screaming in at myself to like, do something about that, you know, don’t let him be attracted to her. Don’t let him connect with her, because you know, the grass is gonna be greener. And, you know, but at the end of the day, she would get mad at you too if you use the wrong credit card and didn’t take a photo of your receipt.
Mr. Jones 1:09:57
Shush. I want them to think I’m perfect. [laughter]
Mrs. Jones 1:10:04 Sorry,
Mr. Jones 1:10:05 I’ll edit this part out.
Mrs. Jones 1:10:07
I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband. Mr. Jones 1:10:09
I’m Prince Charming. [laughter]
Mrs. Jones 1:10:13
Well, I’m not perfect either. I’m hard to live with. And I’m the first to acknowledge that. But I think the the whole, the whole blessing in this is that if you can keep things in perspective, you can enjoy a sexy conversation with somebody that’s just like you and have fun in the bedroom with people that may or may not be different than your partner. And just enjoy that variety as a spice of life.
Mr. Jones 1:10:46
And I think I think it’s interesting the way you just described it and the way I just described it. I look at a connection like that with another woman and I have the freedom to explore that because in my mind, it doesn’t come anywhere close to touching what you and I have, but from what you just explained it’s a real threat.
Mrs. Jones 1:11:03
You know, and I really don’t know if this is a gender thing or a personality thing. I kind of think it’s a gender thing. But I, you know, I’m maybe I’m not being fair to my beautiful female friends out there. I don’t know …maybe it’s an age thing. I don’t know. I’m kind of feeling sorry for myself and licking my wounds right now.
Mr. Jones 1:11:25
Well, I appreciate the fact that you’re so candid. And I totally understand where you’re coming from. And I know that you and I have some work to do in the bedroom. But I think to sum all of this up…
Mrs. Jones 1:11:37
Oh, wait, we really do have a good sex life.
Mr. Jones 1:11:40
Yes, we do. But I think we’re, as you said, we’re always learning. And we’re always trying to understand when things aren’t perfect. Our assumptions, we shouldn’t just jump to conclusions.
Mrs. Jones 1:11:53
Well, I think if you can figure out why, then you can always make it better and, you know, better doesn’t mean that you’re going from, you know, bad to okay, it means you’re going from great to, like ridiculous. Like, yeah.
Mr. Jones 1:12:09
Yeah, so I think in the marriage partnership, to sum this up, you know, being opposite can actually be good and and filling each other’s gaps and making us completely complimentary in all phases of life.
Mrs. Jones 1:12:22
Right. And if you are alike, and you’re in some sort of partnership, relationship, marriage, then you just have to acknowledge, okay, we’re going to have to learn to compensate for this.
Mr. Jones 1:12:36
Well, I think I want you to say this because you came up with these two kind of quotes from Mrs. Jones, that as you were doing – helping me with this outline that I think are – like encapsulate the whole thing.
Mrs. Jones 1:12:50
Oh, right, right, right. I said both people are yin, meaning both people are more – you keep – you know, you’ve used the word submissive a lot which I guess is probably not wrong. But if you’re…
Mr. Jones 1:13:04
Okay, if you’re lesser than the 45 degree angle.
Mrs. Jones 1:13:06
Well, if you’re the more receptive person, you know, you kind of take what’s given to you and and then you make it work.
Mr. Jones 1:13:14
Let’s use energy. If you’re receiving the energy. Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 1:13:18
Then if you’re both like that, you’re going to have to learn to compensate and make sure that you can work together to accomplish whatever you’re trying to accomplish. If you’re both yang then, you know, you’re gonna have to understand you’re going to be doing some serious head buttin’. And in order to make that work you’re gonna have to compromise.
Mr. Jones 1:13:41
Yeah, so you’re saying is if you’re both yin, learn to compensate, but if you’re both yang learn to compromise.
Mrs. Jones 1:13:49
You liked that, didn’t you.
Mr. Jones 1:13:50
I do. That’s like quotable.
Mrs. Jones 1:13:53 Well, thank you.
Mr. Jones 1:13:54 Yeah,
Mrs. Jones 1:13:54
I came up with on my own.
Mr. Jones 1:13:55
I know I have to give you credit for this entire – well, you know what, I have to give the ladies in the book club the credit.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:01 Yes.
Mr. Jones 1:14:02
Because you came away from that…
Mrs. Jones 1:14:04
I totally stole this from them. This was not my idea.
Mr. Jones 1:14:06
Well, and they encouraged you to make this into a topic.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:10
Yeah. It was a great conversation,
Mr. Jones 1:14:13
Right. So, opposites attract question mark. Yes.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:19 I think so.
Mr. Jones 1:14:19
But also in the lifestyle, and in life, you don’t have to be opposites to have that attraction.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:25
No. But you might find yourself drawn to a particular type of person and it’s just kind of fun to reflect back on it.
Mr. Jones 1:14:32
Yeah. So I think I have some homework. I have to, I have to learn how to compensate more. I wrote that down.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:41
Good job, honey.
Mr. Jones 1:14:42 I get a tattoo.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:43 Sticker.
Mr. Jones 1:14:45
All right. Well, when we come back, do you have a snapshot?
Mrs. Jones 1:14:49
I think I can come up with one.
Mr. Jones 1:14:51
Because in quarantine, it’s kind of hard to come up with new snapshots.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:54 No kidding.
Mr. Jones 1:14:54
I have to go to the archives.
Mrs. Jones 1:14:55 I know. Geez.
Mr. Jones 1:14:57
All right. Well, we’re gonna get a refill and come back with some snapshots.
Mrs. Jones 1:15:00 Okay. [Music]
Welcome back to snapshots. Mr. Jones 1:15:12
Yeah, I have a sexy one. And you have a sober one?
Mrs. Jones 1:15:16
I do. I might not be sober, but my snapshot is sober.
Mr. Jones 1:15:19
Yeah, it’s really appropriate though.
Mrs. Jones 1:15:21 Yeah.
Mr. Jones 1:15:23
So we’ve been talking about yin and yang and we’ve been talking about dominant and submissive and we’ve been talking about – you and I have spent more time tonight talking about our personal sex life than we normally do.
Mrs. Jones 1:15:36
I know. We’ve done some serious analysis.
Mr. Jones 1:15:38
But just to prove that it’s not all bad…
Mrs. Jones 1:15:42
We have a great sex life.
Mr. Jones 1:15:44
We do. This was recent. This was a couple of months ago. This is a snapshot just between you and I. And we were down here. We were downstairs here in our house and we – shocker – had been drinking, and we have a – we have a room with a massage table in it. So we went into the massage table room. And
Mrs. Jones 1:16:05
I remember it was really cold outside because we have a little electric heater in there. And I turned the heater on.
Mr. Jones 1:16:09
You turned the heater on. Yeah. And normally how a massage works is you start – the person receiving the massage starts on their front, they’re laying on chest down. And then the good part comes when I flip over, and I’m more exposed. In this particular case, I was on my stomach and you were massaging me with massage oil. We had the candles going and the music going and the heater on. So that really helped you. And then next thing I knew you crawled up on top of me.
Mrs. Jones 1:16:43
Wait, I started you on your belly and did your back. And then I flipped you over. And I did your front. And then I was messing around with you.
Mr. Jones 1:16:56 Yes.
Mrs. Jones 1:16:56
I got you good and hot and bothered.
Mr. Jones 1:16:58 Yes.
Mrs. Jones 1:16:59
And then instead of just – which I’ve been known to do, I mean, everybody knows we broke our massage table more than once.
Mr. Jones 1:17:05
Yeah, you normally hop up on top of me.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:07
I normally hop up on top of you. Luckily, both of us, you know, yeah, at our weights together, we’re still within the legal limit for that massage table. But, so normally I just climb up on top of you and then I just ride you cowgirl.
Mr. Jones 1:17:20 All bets are off, right.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:21
But I flipped you back over this time.
Mr. Jones 1:17:23 Which was really difficult.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:24
And you were like, what the hell, because, like, you were like fully aroused, and you’re like, I don’t want to lay on this thing.
Mr. Jones 1:17:24 Right.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:24
So, but I made you flip back over.
Mr. Jones 1:17:24
Yes. And then you you kept your hand down between my legs. So my, my butt was like arching up in the air so that you could get a good grip.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:44 Yeah.
Mr. Jones 1:17:46
And then, for some reason, you decided to crawl up on the massage table with me.
Mrs. Jones 1:17:52
And I really don’t even – like, this was not something I had planned. Like I don’t even know what was going on in my head.
Mr. Jones 1:17:58
And I think We’ve talked a couple of times before in our past 72 episodes that you’ve maybe once or twice been a thigh huncher. So you crawled up on top of me while I was on my stomach, and then you really started thrusting your hips against me. And against my butt and against my thigh, one of my legs. And you were – so I could tell by your breathing, I couldn’t see your face, but I could tell by your breathing and the intensity and how you were thrusting against me that you were really enjoying yourself. And I guess I could have taken that two ways. I could have – I could have been thinking, Oh my gosh, she wants to peg me. And that could have taken my mind in a completely different place. And not that – that’s not a -that’s a neutral statement. It would have just been something that I had to process. But because you were so into it, and you were so turned on, it turned me on.
Mrs. Jones 1:19:02
Like, it was crazy. Like, I don’t even know how I got from point A to point B. But I was just crazy that night.
Mr. Jones 1:19:10 Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 1:19:11
And it was just, it was so sexy and so hot.
Mr. Jones 1:19:16 Yeah.
Mrs. Jones 1:19:16
And like – all I was doing, I was on top of you and – all I was doing was like, like pretending to like, ride you.
Mr. Jones 1:19:24 Right.
Mrs. Jones 1:19:25
But I don’t – I had an orgasm. Like, how does that even happen? Like my body was really not being stimulated at all. Like, my brain made my body have an orgasm.
Mr. Jones 1:19:38
Right. And I enjoyed it because you were enjoying it so much. So we – you were compensating. You know, you were the one that was really the aggressor and taking control and that was really hot. And I don’t even remember how I finished that night. I don’t know if I rolled back over.
Mrs. Jones 1:19:56
No, we went into the bedroom.
Mr. Jones 1:19:57
Oh, okay. Part two is in the bedroom.
Mrs. Jones 1:20:02 Yeah.
Mr. Jones 1:20:03
So that’s a good example of how it was really organic. And we didn’t plan it. And it was out of the norm. But we both responded, you, I think you took a little bit of a chance to do something with me that we hadn’t talked about doing.
Mrs. Jones 1:20:21 Right.
Mr. Jones 1:20:22
And for me, it was a – it wasn’t a challenge. It was just an opportunity for me to accept that from you. And, and I did, so we need to do more of that.
Mrs. Jones 1:20:31
I know. You know, can I reflect back for a second? So you know, we talked about how we both tend to be yin personalities. And one of the ways that we compensated for that years ago is that I started reading books, and I bought this book and I cannot even begin to remember the name of it much less who wrote it, but it was kind of – it was a book that had all these different, like, evenings in them.
Mr. Jones 1:21:01 Oh, scenarios.
Mrs. Jones 1:21:02
Yeah. And, and they were always – they came in three parts. So you would, you would have three, like scenes to your sexual evening together. And we would go through that book together. And like it would be your turn to pick out one of them. And there were probably like, what 20 or 30 different scenarios in there that you could play out as a couple. And, like one week, it would be your turn to pick one out and one week could be my turn to pick one out. And I always thought, well, first of all, we never made it through all three.
Mr. Jones 1:21:37 No.
Mrs. Jones 1:21:41
But to our credit, I think that’s a good thing. Because we would use those as like the catalyst to get things started.
Mr. Jones 1:21:49
Like a launching pad, yeah.
Mrs. Jones 1:21:49
And then we didn’t need help after we got going. You know, so I, I liked that book because it gave you ideas, and it gave you a direction in which to proceed, but, you know, you and I were not so rigid that we couldn’t take, take it off on our own direction. And I think that once we get started, our evening never ends up like we anticipate it’s going to go.
Mr. Jones 1:22:18 Right.
Mrs. Jones 1:22:18
‘cuz sometimes you’ll say to me, well, what do you want to do tonight? And I’m like, well, have sex. And you’re like, can you be more specific?
Mr. Jones 1:22:25
Or you say, I want you to initiate tonight, like, initiate what? I mean, how? So we’re not again, we’re not very clear.
Mrs. Jones 1:22:35
Right. Yeah. So I think the more you and I plot and plan, the worse, it turns out. We just need to figure out a way to get started. And I’m not talking about every time we have sex. I’m just talking about those nights where you have the whole night in front of you and you’re kind of trying to like plot and plan something out. So…
Mr. Jones 1:22:53
Yeah, so my snapshot was you up on top of me when I was laying on my stomach and you had an orgasm on top of me.
Mrs. Jones 1:23:00
Yeah, with like absolutely no penetration…
Mr. Jones 1:23:03 I did nothing at all.
Mrs. Jones 1:23:05
I was just hunching your skinny little butt. That’s a very sexy skinny little butt.
Mr. Jones 1:23:11
Thank you. So what’s yours?
Mrs. Jones 1:23:13
So mine is not sexy at all, but it’s very heartfelt. You know especially now with all of the social distancing and you know people having to make some tough choices with their businesses and their personal lives on how to to navigate this coronavirus.
Mr. Jones 1:23:35 Survive.
Mrs. Jones 1:23:35
Yeah, literally survive and keep your family safe. Keep yourself safe.
Mr. Jones 1:23:40
Keep your business going.
Mrs. Jones 1:23:41
Keep your businesses going, keep your paychecks coming in. If you’re in a service industry, I can’t even imagine some of the, the the plights that people are finding themselves in, completely out of their control. So in the midst of all this, we have lifestyle friends that we’ve known for years and years, and you were just chatting on the phone with the husband the other day, and you guys were talking about family stuff.
Mr. Jones 1:24:10
Yeah, I called him for a different reason to get some advice, again, not lifestyle. And then when we were wrapping up the conversation, he said, hey, I want to ask you like, how are your parents doing through all this? And, you know, and I told them, they’re fine, but they’re over 80 years old, and…
Mrs. Jones 1:24:26
I mean, they’re self isolating. We’re still worried about them. So my snapshot is so unsexy. But it’s so heartfelt. So Mr. Jones, and I went out to the grocery store today to get a few groceries and we came home, we noticed the mail had come. So Mr. Jones brought the groceries inside and I walked back out to the end of the driveway to get the mail and I opened up the mailbox. And inside the mailbox is a package that came overnight from our friend that Mr. Jones was chatting to yesterday, and he had overnighted some of the the, like the real safety masks – the what what do they call – the medical grade safety masks to share with both Mr. Jones’s parents because our friend knows that, that our parents are older and they’re vulnerable. And he had, he
had access to these masks. So he overnighted them to us because He cares about us. And he cares about our parents, and for, for the general public out there that doesn’t understand the lifestyle and doesn’t understand that we’re real people making real connections. And we all have real lives and real concerns. I’m just – I’m so sorry you don’t understand that. Because there’s so much more to these friendships than mindless sex. And we do have really fun – not mindless sex, but we do have really fun sex with these people, but clearly, they’re our friends. And and we care about each other’s families and we are really literally trying to survive this new reality together. So, you know who you are out there, thank you. We we love you. We value your friendship. And we just hope that other people listening to this have had the opportunity to make the same kind of connections that we’ve had the absolute privilege to make.
Mr. Jones 1:26:28
Well said. That brings us full circle. We started talking about coronavirus at the beginning. And the snapshot kind of…
Mrs. Jones 1:26:36 It has not gone away.
Mr. Jones 1:26:38 Not sexy but it’s real.
Mrs. Jones 1:26:40
It’s real. And and all of this is real. If you can make – you can keep the lifestyle in its proper place, but still make it a significant important part of your life.
Mr. Jones 1:26:50
Yes. So before we go, we’d like to invite you to be a part of our We Gotta Thing private community. Join us for our weekly chats. When you’re quarantined…
Mrs. Jones 1:27:01
It’s a sanity check, let me tell ya.
Mr. Jones 1:27:03
Get together with us and just talk with a bunch of lifestyle friends. You can contact us through our website and you can also email me at [email protected]
Mrs. Jones 1:27:14
and me at [email protected]
Mr. Jones 1:27:16
And obviously our website is wegottathing.com. You know, I want to give a special thank you to one of our listeners who has been transcribing all of our podcast episodes.
Mrs. Jones 1:27:26
I know I can’t even imagine.
Mr. Jones 1:27:29
Yeah, so we’re now starting one by one putting transcriptions of our podcasts on our website as well. So you’ll find that at wegottathing.com.
Mrs. Jones 1:27:38
Does he correct our grammar?
Mr. Jones 1:27:40 A little bit.
Mrs. Jones 1:27:42
Neither one of us were English majors. Sorry, folks.
Mr. Jones 1:27:45
Yeah, you can follow us on Twitter @wegottathing.
Mrs. Jones 1:27:49
And we’re also on Pinterest. And you can find us on Double Date Nation and Kasidie, and we have links on our website to get some free trials on each one of those.
Mr. Jones 1:28:00 Definitely
Mrs. Jones 1:28:01
Another place to do some serious connecting at a time of social distancing.
Mr. Jones 1:28:06
So we wish that you all will be healthy and happy and smart and survive the next few months. And then when we get through this, damn, we’re going to have some awesome parties together. So thanks for listening. We are Mr. and Mrs. Jones and we got a thing.
Mrs. Jones 1:28:21 What’s your thing? [Music]