We are NOT Swingers!

When that’s how the message starts, I know what’s coming next:

Dear Mr and Mrs Jones,

We are NOT swingers! But…we are open minded. And we do have a great sex life, and we did have an MFM experience a few years ago, and we do like to fantasize about being with others. We’ve been together a long time and have a great relationship. But we are NOT swingers! Oh, but one time we went to a lifestyle club, but we just watched. Well, we watched and it was hot so we had sex. Sex with each other I meant! And while we were having sex with each other we really enjoyed watching others, you know, have sex. Then we went home and had the best sex of our lives. For weeks!

Oh, even though we are NOT swingers, we really enjoy your podcast. You know, you guys sound so “normal” and everything (i.e., you sound a lot like us–NON swingers”).

Keep up the good work!

Signed: Dean and Debbie from In-Denial, Indiana

Okay I exaggerated just a bit to make my point clear. People (especially those new or curious) find it difficult to accept a label that in their minds is negative or so far beyond where they see themselves. I get it. The term “swinger” has been around a long time (see: key parties) and this “thing” we do has evolved since then. The word “lifestyle” is a bit subjective and doesn’t really capture what we believe this “thing” to be. We don’t care for the terms much ourselves.

We are not here to come up with a new term for this “thing” we do (that’s for another blog post someday) but instead to tell you that Mrs Jones and I ARE in the swinging lifestyle. For lack of a better term we need to accept some descriptor for who we are, what we do and why we do it. To us, it’s a mindset.

We are here to tell you how we moved beyond the labels. We started to make friends, you know, swinger friends. Every time we made another friend we cared a bit less about those labels. Then we started a podcast and heard from so many more amazing people out there and some of them became good friends. And we cared even less about those labels. Then our listeners kept telling us how their relationships were deepening and how they were finding such awesome new friends. And that’s when we stopped concerning ourselves at all with what we are called.

It’s not about the label, it’s about the people and the relationships.

Care to join us?