by Admin Andi
I always say that I don’t know where to begin, but that is just a cliché’ to excuse that fact that I am about to take the floor and ramble about something that I am convinced everyone else wants to hear. The Lifestyle has been quite an incredible journey for my husband and me. A little over 2 years in and we could talk for days about the experiences that we have shared. The most incredible of all is how much we have grown as a couple and as best friends since entering the Lifestyle.
I searched, I Googled, I read outdated blogs about this thing they called the “Lifestyle”. There was very little to be found, mostly opinionated blogs that circled back around to sin or a plethora of psychological disorders. Yuck. I stumbled upon a seemingly popular swinger podcast called “We Gotta Thing”. I had never even listened to a podcast before, but there I was downloading the app on my phone. We skipped around listening to this faceless couple with these sexy voices tell stories of stumbling around in their Lifestyle experiences. They were just like us. We would laugh and then pause to discuss, then pick back up again. I have the gift of gab, but Mr. and Mrs. Jones owned it. The stories they told, the brutal honesty, vulnerability and not to mention the sexy voices (did I mention that already?). If I tried to have a swinger podcast I would sound like a girl that was caught between hanging her laundry on the line and stirring the beans in the crockpot. Meaning, I have a discombobulated northern/southern accent and a terrible delivery. It was like Mr. and Mrs. Jones were our secret friends giving advice one podcast at a time. When something new happened that was discussed in their podcast, I would often look at my hubby and say, “Mr. and Mrs. Jones told us about this, remember?” as if we all hung out together. Their podcast gave us the confidence to know that was ok to wait until we were comfortable and some insight on what we might expect during some of our “firsts”. Listening to them was a godsend for us.
Overall, we have had our share of marital issues, but nothing out of the “norm”. We had both always been very sexual, together for only 10 years maybe it had not started to fade for us yet. We each had fantasies that were hidden from each other before the Lifestyle. I digress, we were in search of something, and we just weren’t sure what that something was. I set up our dating profile and off we went. We were bombarded at first but learned how to narrow things down and how to write our profile to more effectively describe what we were looking for in another couple (thanks to the guidance from our faceless BFF’s, Mr. and Mrs. Jones). We had a few “dates” for drinks and dinner, no play. We visited our local Lifestyle club and sat in the corner like people that were evading the FBI. Luckily, confidence comes with time in the Lifestyle. Not only confidence to talk to new people but also confidence in how to say, “No thank you” politely. It sounds simple, but when you are put on the spot and likely half naked, it really isn’t as easy as it may sound at first. All in all, we have met some fantastic people, people we consider to be dear friends both in and out of the Lifestyle. However, that is jumping to the present day, the story is at its best when it’s about the journey as to how we arrived where we are today.
Our best story will forever be our first experience, not because it is dripping with steamy sexiness, but because we stumbled all over ourselves like an episode of “I Love Lucy”. We were contacted by a couple, the chat exchange went on for a few days and they seemed very nice and very attractive. A date was set up for 8 pm on a Friday night at a high-end bar in our town. This couple was driving over 3 hours, just to meet us. Us? So right off the bat, in the back of my mind is my little obligation elf that is dancing around on my temporal lobe. I had some time to process things during my 3 hours of shaving, moisturizing and exfoliating. I was overwhelmed with the repetitive thought, “what in hell are we about to do?” This couple was hot, I mean off the charts sexy. They knew we had never played before and we were a firm soft swap, even though they were quite experienced and typically full swap. My husband and I chatted about our rules, repeating them and testing each other as if we were about to sit down for an Algebra final. We had rules, conditions, fine print, limits, safe words, code words, you name it. Looking back, all of that was hysterical.
After sweating through our clothes from the very short walk from the valet to the hotel bar, we finally arrived. We are here, we are actually doing this. Now what?
To be continued…